My 4 year old is signed up for a backyard day camp right near my office. The price is that I don't have to pay if he doesn't go, and I have a sitter at home that can watch him. When he says 'I don't want to go to camp today' am I okay with that? Or am I not since it's part of the routine? (I know when we go out of town next week or when he's sick, etc. I obviously won't make him go, but some mornings he just doesn't feel like it, although an hour after I leave he may change his mind.)

Well first I'd ask him 'why not' just to make sure that everything is OK there. Then, I'd be OK with him skipping for a day, because it is summer camp and not school, but this type of thing may turn into an everyday event. Is he old enough for a logical deal? Like you can stay home today but not tomorrow.

When I ask why not? The answer is because. I think he isn't sure which will be more fun so if he knows its 'trip day' or something fun at camp he will for sure go, but he's not always sure. He has a great time at camp, but he also knows the sitter takes kids out and does fun stuff with them.

Is he with kids that he will be with next September for school? Does he already know the children and is friendly with them? If he knows the kids and has friends for the coming year, I personally would be somewhat flexible with him, but explain this is only for camp and not for school. If he doesn't really know the kids yet this might be a good time for him to socialize with kids his age and make friends his own age, I'd keep him there as much as possible. It could be after a few days missing camp hed get bored with just his younger siblings.

I am not sure if any of the kids will be in his class come fall. But one kid was our next door neighbor (who actually moved last week) and another one is my cousin and lives about half a block away so he knows them well, plus a few kids from last summer. In addition, he is a very social kid and can usually be fine even if he knows no one at 9 a.m., by 9:01 he is fine.

That's the thing - while I was gone, he didn't go and the first day I offerred him he jumped at the idea. Today, though, he didn't seem interested. I think he just wants to do what he feels like. I can't decide if that's okay or I should stay consistent. (any valid reason I wouldn't make him go, even if it's a minor valid - i.e. my mother offers to take him on a trip, something I wouldn't allow during school.)

This is still causing me agmas nefesh. He always says he doesn't want to go (and some of the reasons I know of without him telling me, are valid) but he always has a fantastic time when I ask him afterwards how camp was and what he did.

ARGH!!! I do not know whether I should or shouldn't push it. The other choice is for him to be home all day with his 2 little sisters...argh!!! But some of his reasons for not wanting to go are valid.

What valid reasons does he have? That would probably be my determining factor.

Why doesn't he want to go?

Does he like being home with his two little sisters?

His counselors let the other kids do more stuff than him. I don't think it's true but I do think other kids get away with more since they barely ever listen so the counselors only yell (which bothers me, last year there wasn't yelling and it's the same counselors) at the other kid half the time he does stuff he's not supposed to and my kid every time (which is less than half of other kid, b"h)

They don't always do fun stuff. A lot of time they just make kids play on swing set by themselves and sit and watch them but don't interact with them. (he didn't say this but I know it.)


He thinks his counselors aren't fair.

He usually does like being home with his sisters, but they're little and it's a whole day he can get bored. He likes most of his campmates when they come over to play.

Today, he opted to stay home and since I told him it was 'trip day' and he STILL wanted to stay home, I let him. We'll see how it goes......

I HATE doing this - I don't know what is right/wrong?

I thought we finally has a thread about Brett Favre.

Wow, if there was yelling at kids going on it would be a red flag for me. Ditto the fact that the "counselors" aren't really interacting with the kids all the time. If I wanted my kid to play quietly by himself, I could have him at home with a few toys - IMHO the point of playgroups and camps is for the child to get as much interaction and exposure to different things/people as possible. If all they're doing is playing on playground equipment by themselves, it seems like a colossal waste of time and money to me, and a disservice to the child. Is there any way you can switch to a better playgroup for him, or have the sitter do more fun things with him during the day so he doesn't get bored at home?

I agree, but as I said he went to the same camp with the same counselors and this is NOT how it is run. The truth is there are a lot of kids so he does get quite a bit of social interaction (and he's a social butterfly) - also, when they go to park, do activities, they do interact. I would switch him if that was an option, now that it's august, I may just have him not go for the end.

Sounds like he's probably right.

I think you are right, because if he really wants to stay at home with his boring sisters rather than go to camp, something must be wrong at camp.

He stayed home yesterday with the princesses.

This morning, at first he said he didn't think he wanted to go to camp, but within 5 seconds was fine with the idea. On the way from car to backyard, I said 'who will have fun at camp?' and he raised his hands. So, maybe the kid just needed a do-nothing-day break. Mh agrees that we shouldn't force him to go everyday.

Meanwhile, my 2.5 year old begs me to go every day as she LOVES it and won't stop talking about it. But, I don't let her go on trip days, during MAIN toilet training days, or other times. I have never let her go without big bro going, should I risk it?

Sure, why not? I use to be a camp counselor for 2.5 yr olds.