Health Advice |
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 Jul 12 2008, 09:46 PM
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#1
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 Now A Genome Sequencer  Group: Members Posts: 13,052 Joined: 23-May 05 From: Tipah Sirucha Member No.: 1,516  |
HEALTH QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION
Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap. Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up! Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc. Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good! Q: Aren't fried foods bad! for you? A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you? Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach. Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me. Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape! Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - WINE in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride" 9 -------------------- "Eat. Spit. Be Happy." -Davids
"Who is wise? he who can learn from every man. can be applied here, getting 'inspiration' from a one eyed whacko." - soapmaker " He who stands on toilet is high on pot" -Confucius " When life gives you lemons make lemonade..... but if life gives you a handful of cr@p, dont try making anything out of it, trust me on that one. -Dahlai Lama " I love Jews." -Somebody must have said it, somewhere "A good friend will come and bail you out of jail................. but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "d@mn that was fun". Make aliyah, or aliyah will make you. OFF SAVING THE WORLD |
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Jul 12 2008, 09:52 PM
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#2
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 חסד ואמת Group: Members Posts: 8,845 Joined: 16-November 06 Member No.: 4,063 |
This is a humor article printed in Country Yossi some time ago.
-------------------- "If they would allow one dead soul to visit an assembly of philosophers, that would be the end of all their teachings."
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Jul 12 2008, 09:55 PM
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#3
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Now A Genome Sequencer Group: Members Posts: 13,052 Joined: 23-May 05 From: Tipah Sirucha Member No.: 1,516 |
QUOTE (existwhere? @ Jul 12 2008, 10:52 PM)  This is a humor article printed in Country Yossi some time ago. Country yossi doesnt make this stuff up you know... 9 -------------------- "Eat. Spit. Be Happy." -Davids
"Who is wise? he who can learn from every man. can be applied here, getting 'inspiration' from a one eyed whacko." - soapmaker " He who stands on toilet is high on pot" -Confucius " When life gives you lemons make lemonade..... but if life gives you a handful of cr@p, dont try making anything out of it, trust me on that one. -Dahlai Lama " I love Jews." -Somebody must have said it, somewhere "A good friend will come and bail you out of jail................. but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "d@mn that was fun". Make aliyah, or aliyah will make you. OFF SAVING THE WORLD |
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Jul 12 2008, 10:02 PM
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#4
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חסד ואמת Group: Members Posts: 8,845 Joined: 16-November 06 Member No.: 4,063 |
QUOTE (doodlehead @ Jul 12 2008, 10:55 PM) Sure he does. QUOTE (doodlehead @ Jul 12 2008, 10:46 PM) "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - WINE in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride" You might want to save it for Techiyas Hameisim. -------------------- "If they would allow one dead soul to visit an assembly of philosophers, that would be the end of all their teachings."
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Jul 12 2008, 10:03 PM
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#5
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Now A Genome Sequencer Group: Members Posts: 13,052 Joined: 23-May 05 From: Tipah Sirucha Member No.: 1,516 |
-------------------- "Eat. Spit. Be Happy." -Davids
"Who is wise? he who can learn from every man. can be applied here, getting 'inspiration' from a one eyed whacko." - soapmaker " He who stands on toilet is high on pot" -Confucius " When life gives you lemons make lemonade..... but if life gives you a handful of cr@p, dont try making anything out of it, trust me on that one. -Dahlai Lama " I love Jews." -Somebody must have said it, somewhere "A good friend will come and bail you out of jail................. but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "d@mn that was fun". Make aliyah, or aliyah will make you. OFF SAVING THE WORLD |
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Jul 12 2008, 10:04 PM
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#6
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חסד ואמת Group: Members Posts: 8,845 Joined: 16-November 06 Member No.: 4,063 |
QUOTE (doodlehead @ Jul 12 2008, 11:03 PM) Kayla Kuchleffel. Or maybe Rachelle Maruch Miller. -------------------- "If they would allow one dead soul to visit an assembly of philosophers, that would be the end of all their teachings."
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Jul 12 2008, 10:05 PM
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#7
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Now A Genome Sequencer Group: Members Posts: 13,052 Joined: 23-May 05 From: Tipah Sirucha Member No.: 1,516 |
-------------------- "Eat. Spit. Be Happy." -Davids
"Who is wise? he who can learn from every man. can be applied here, getting 'inspiration' from a one eyed whacko." - soapmaker " He who stands on toilet is high on pot" -Confucius " When life gives you lemons make lemonade..... but if life gives you a handful of cr@p, dont try making anything out of it, trust me on that one. -Dahlai Lama " I love Jews." -Somebody must have said it, somewhere "A good friend will come and bail you out of jail................. but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "d@mn that was fun". Make aliyah, or aliyah will make you. OFF SAVING THE WORLD |
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Who do you think that is?|
Jul 12 2008, 10:07 PM
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#8
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 Gabbai  Group: Members Posts: 617 Joined: 23-June 08 Member No.: 7,338 |
-------------------- דעו מאביכם כי לא בוש אבוש שוב אשוב אליכם כי בא מועד
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Jul 12 2008, 10:08 PM
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#9
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חסד ואמת Group: Members Posts: 8,845 Joined: 16-November 06 Member No.: 4,063 |
QUOTE (doodlehead @ Jul 12 2008, 11:05 PM) CY. What do you mean by not quite? -------------------- "If they would allow one dead soul to visit an assembly of philosophers, that would be the end of all their teachings."
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Jul 12 2008, 10:10 PM
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#10
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Now A Genome Sequencer Group: Members Posts: 13,052 Joined: 23-May 05 From: Tipah Sirucha Member No.: 1,516 |
QUOTE (palindrome @ Jul 12 2008, 11:07 PM) Why? Do you know? <my lips are sealed>  QUOTE (existwhere? @ Jul 12 2008, 11:08 PM) CY. What do you mean by not quite? He does not make any of his stuff up. 9 -------------------- "Eat. Spit. Be Happy." -Davids
"Who is wise? he who can learn from every man. can be applied here, getting 'inspiration' from a one eyed whacko." - soapmaker " He who stands on toilet is high on pot" -Confucius " When life gives you lemons make lemonade..... but if life gives you a handful of cr@p, dont try making anything out of it, trust me on that one. -Dahlai Lama " I love Jews." -Somebody must have said it, somewhere "A good friend will come and bail you out of jail................. but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "d@mn that was fun". Make aliyah, or aliyah will make you. OFF SAVING THE WORLD |
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Jul 12 2008, 10:18 PM
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#11
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חסד ואמת Group: Members Posts: 8,845 Joined: 16-November 06 Member No.: 4,063 |
QUOTE (doodlehead @ Jul 12 2008, 11:10 PM) He does not make any of his stuff up. Oh, so it's all true? -------------------- "If they would allow one dead soul to visit an assembly of philosophers, that would be the end of all their teachings."
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Jul 12 2008, 10:21 PM
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#12
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Now A Genome Sequencer Group: Members Posts: 13,052 Joined: 23-May 05 From: Tipah Sirucha Member No.: 1,516 |
-------------------- "Eat. Spit. Be Happy." -Davids
"Who is wise? he who can learn from every man. can be applied here, getting 'inspiration' from a one eyed whacko." - soapmaker " He who stands on toilet is high on pot" -Confucius " When life gives you lemons make lemonade..... but if life gives you a handful of cr@p, dont try making anything out of it, trust me on that one. -Dahlai Lama " I love Jews." -Somebody must have said it, somewhere "A good friend will come and bail you out of jail................. but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "d@mn that was fun". Make aliyah, or aliyah will make you. OFF SAVING THE WORLD |
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