I find it strange to see girls who spent at least a whole year focused on higher jewish learning, end up dumping it. I mean I have no issues with someone deciding that a jewish lifestyle is not for them, but what took them so long to realize it? I go through so many pictures of seminary friends on facebook and too many of them are clubbing in sleeveless dresses. What happened?

It's so hard to find a good brainwashing machine repairman these days.

grow up.

I suppose each person has a different reason why they made different choices in life, I'm sure they didn't all go to sem for the same reasons either.
I might be projecting a bit here, but you do have to realize that some people might like Judaism only to find out Judaism (ie the Jewish demographic they happen to interact with which in practice is the same thing...) doesn't like them. There's plenty of reasons why people are labeled and treated as nth class citizens in different sectors of the Jewish community... At any rate, as I've said before, the best that Judaism has to offer is family and community life, but it doesn't offer it to everybody, and not everybody is contempt being the "nebach case" everybody half feels bad about, half laughs about.

Clubbing in (GASP) short sleeves is not the same as OTD.

Well, they're not off "the" derech, but they're off a derech, specifically greentiger's derech which is, I'm comfident to assume, the derech that was being promoted at the sem they went to and they all nominally followed at the time.
My original answer still applies, at any rate.

If the derech is a rope suspended 50 feet up in the air, it makes it pretty easy to go off it.

I said sleeveless, and I thought that was clear that it was just an example of just dumping everything you learned. Again, there is a difference imo between doing these things, and doing them after sem where you are at least considered an adult with a semi-stable view on life.


Cuz you know which sem I went to, right?

I have no idea but I know plenty of frum girls who go clubbing. I have no idea what length their sleeves are, or if they even have them, I'm just saying that going clubbing is not going "OTD". Their seminary teachers would I'm sure be shocked and appalled though, but that only adds to the fun.

That's a silly myth. You're not married to any POV at any stage of your life. We're constantly learning new things about our environment and adapting to them.


Gateshead?

How is it dumping everything you learned. To me it seems like dumping one not so important thing

What bothers me is the living 2 lives, not the shock at the clubbing so get over it.


It just seems a bit extreme to me to go out of your way to go to seminary and then just totally dump it. If you weren't interested then why did you go. And if you were interested, why did you dump it. Yeah I know its mainly the point you made about the reason for girls to go to sem is not always a personal choice and thats very unfortunate.


Huh? This a guessing game?



Again, thats an example-get over the detail of it. And btw I am refering to girls who were considered "good girls" before and not the rebels.

People change too. Is it very sad that there are things in life that could get a girl who went to that type of sem (ie the mysterious type) would find reasons soon afterwards to become disillusioned enough to be lured by stuff like that... However that is life for you.


No it's not. OK Ms. Mysterio, spit it out.

Life

And it doesn't start with clubbing and sleeveless dresses.... It works its way up slowly until you don;t even REALIZE how you ended up where you are right now...
A supportive environment is so important, as is focus and something productive to do. I know for myself that there is a NIGHT and DAY difference between my "level" now and when I was in yeshiva, and once you are "on your own" it can be very difficult. "The real world" is tough, there are outside influences and all sorts of enticing taivos and forbidden fruits that are constantly bombarding you. Little by little is chisels away at your armor. Just one weak moment of "Why do I have to miss out because I'm frum" can start a downward spiral. Also the current "OTD fetish" makes it all the more difficult because there are FRUM people (who really ARE otherwise frum) doing all sorts of stuff that surely isn't giving nachas to Hashem (myself included sometimes) so it almost seems "normal"...

People won't like this, but IMHO this is why marrying as soon after sem (to frum guys) is so important. Because the longer someone waits, the more likely for all sorts of stuff to creep in, and little by little you find yourself on facebook doing things you never imagined (or a LOT worse than that)..... It seems like as if today it is only a matter of time....... (and yes I know that even getting married and having a family is NO insurance policy today, but it surely helps and leaves less time for facebook escapades or other assorted mischief....)