So, when I was first dealing with this "legally blind" thing (I am not really blind, B"H, my eyes are just extremely damaged), someone suggested that I date a certain guy (this happened with many people suggesting the same guy, ironically). Because, y'know, he's blind, I'm blind perfect shidduch.

After a while, I thought up of a comeback "No, I'm only dating Deaf guys now. Because I can't see them sign and they can't hear me speak, so we'll have no communication problems!"

Postnote: I did look into dating the "blind guy", btw. I contacted a shadchan to look into it, because it was just too strange that a whole bunch of people were suggesting the same guy for me.

Turns out he doesn't date blind girls.

*shrugs* go figure. <_<dry

So, Question: I'm reconsidering this whole thing. Should I pursue it anyway?

I generally do not believe that disabled people should only date other disabled people. Obviously, many disagree. What do you guys think?

It would seem that someone with damaged vision should marry someone with good vision, so that he can help you with chores that you find difficult.

There are plenty of people who are completely blind who are married to healthy people. B"H that you aren't that bad off, and in any case, there's no reason for you to be limited to someone with a disability.

yes, people functionaly impared vision (after glasses) should NOT marry other people who also are functionaly impared vision wise.

cause at least one parent needs to be able to see. one has to. how could you drive anywhere or stuff like that?

I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but you definitely need someone who can see at least well enough to read fine print!

and no, there isn't any reason for you to date disabled people. personaly I'm not for disabled people dating other disabled people mostly cause what if their dissabilities conflict?! that would be very bad for the marriage.

although its good to marry someone who is friends with a dissabled person so that they have some idea what they're getting into beforehand and are not totaly suprised, also this way they're more inclined to stop and understand you, if nothing else cause they wish the same for their friend. (hopefuly they'll stop and understand you cause you're they're friend, but the extra empathy helps keep problems from developing early on I think.)

I've said my piece on this numerous times. Just one more thing I hate about the shidduch system.

Don't. Even. Talk. About. Driving.

Just don't. I have very bad feelings on the subject...

Speaking of which: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/See_No_Evil%2C_Hear_No_Evil

i'm sorry.

fine we'll just stick with reading fine print!

good luck ok?

Deaf couples are often happy together because of the sign language deal. I personally would have a much easier time dating a blind guy than a deaf guy because speech and conversation is so important to me. I took a year's worth of sign language and still didn't end up very proficient. It's a very visual language (duh) and I'm just not a visual person.

I apologize in advance for trivializing this very important and sensitive topic but I couldn't resist...

...the story about the woman who answered the door out of her bath on the intercom and was told that it was a blind man. So she went downstairs in the nude, thinking it wouldn't matter, and opened the door...to a guy come to fix her new blinds.

To answer your question; I have seen marriages between people of varying disabilities, and none, and it always works better if one partner has the skill that the other one doesn't have; at least. It is very unfortunate that shadchanim tend to lump disabilities with disabilities.

Back to my question: Should I push this particular Shidduch suggestion? I'm upset that I was brushed aside just b/c this guy doesn't date "Blind girls". Especially b/c I'm able to see.

Deaf is different deaf people have their whole own culture.

I don't see any reason not to pursue it if you are interested, but in response to those who say you don't have to settle for a blind person-you see you aren't less of a person because of your disability so you should understand that people with the same disability also aren't less. Of course you should date them but not limit yourself to dating such people.

Do you think you'd have things in common other than the vision impairments? that should be the deciding factor.

If you have reason to believe that the two of you would be compatible based on what you know about him aside from his being blind, than I say go for it. I don't think that his being blind is by itself sufficient reason to push this shidduch.

Agreed.

I don't think two blind people would make the best pair because of reasons mentioned above, but I'm sure there have been very successful blind couples in the past. You might as well look into a shidduch, even if it does seem a little demeaning for the reason. Unless you don't trust the shadchan, why not look more into it and decide for yourself.

I think that the problem is that in the frum world it's all about how you look on paper. I think that if guys had a chance to hang out with Ahavah they wouldn't care about the fact that her eyesight is bad. The thing is that you have to connect with someone - it's hard to look past a disability when that's all you know about a person.