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We will now focus on the method of contemplation during the allotted time devoted to such thought. We will try to show how to think in order to acquire emunah in Hashem's Providence over every detail of life.

A person should sit in his house and devote about an hour of quiet time, free of any worldly distractions, and begin to think: "Who lives in this house? I and my wife," and so on. Then, he should think: "Who determined that she would become my wife? Did I determine it, or was it the One Unique Being - Hashem - Who determined it?" He should talk about this in the form of a question (as described above) and then respond to himself, "Chazal, whose words are absolute truth, revealed how Hashem guides the world and they taught us that forty days before a fetus is formed, a Heavenly voice proclaims, 'The daughter of this man will marry that man' (Sotah 2a). Hence, Hashem Himself determined who would be my wife. I didn't determine it at all, only He did.

Since this marriage was determined by Him, it must be clear to me that whatever resulted from this marriage also came through Him. There is no such thing as Hashem doing an action and not foreseeing all its results. Everything was revealed to Him from the beginning, and whatever ensues is His will. Hence, all the results of this marriage are really His will."
http://bilvavi.net/content/view/283/32


This would help solve a lot of Shalom Bayis problems. Realize that your wife is Heaven-sent, and treat her as such.

(As stated above about parnasa, clearly you have to use the mind Hashem gave you to think about how your hishtadlus in this world is doing. But the main thing is to realize that anything she is or does- is something Hashem planned for you and your marriage.)