Suppose a new single girl moves into your community and after some time, you find that you really like her and she likes you as well. In every respect she seems to be FFB, and you're about to ask her on a real date when she tells you, to your surprise, that actually she's not technically Jewish yet, has been frum for a couple of years and probably only has a few months left to go before she will be Jewish. She just didn't tell most people because she figured that after the giur it wouldn't matter anyway. Would you feel she was dishonest? Would you ask her out anyway?

why exactly is this even a question? why should she have gone and told the world about it? why does it matter? she did tell you when you asked her out.

if she seems amazing, go out with her! who cares if she's a ger?

It's somewhat of a moot point for me, seeing as I'm married, but I would be inclined to still ask her out on a date.

...

Dishonest about what? What is she supposed to do, wear a sign that says "not Jewish (yet)"?

at this point she might as well be and she certianly qualifies under the "dont afflict the ger" rule.

I mean, she's already planning to convert.

if he was asking if she should wait for a few months till its official, fine, but I understood him to be saying whether or not he should ask her out at all.

I would NOT ask her out, because I don't date non Jewish chicks, but I also wouldn't be upset that she didn't tell me. Why SHOULD she have told me until/unless it became relevant??? If we WERE going out (or considering it) and she didn't mention it right up front, I would be majorly peeved but stam she has no reason let alone obligation to tell me.......

I posted my comment before reading the scenario carefully.
I do not think the person in question was dishonest.

This really doesn't constitute dishonesty IMHO, because she is supposed to be living a Jewish lifestyle before conversion is finalized, right? It would be appropriate to share the details if a potential dating situation arose, before the first date to avoid unnecessary surprises and potential hurts on both sides.

Seems to me that her conduct is just fine. She told the interested party BEFORE going out with him as was proper. Otherwise, it's between her and the beis din and not really anyone else's business. (Get's a little more important to share the not-yet-Jewish status for a guy due to (not) being counted in a minyan, etc. but still doesn't need to be publicized.)

well I suppose its important for a women's mezuman as well. . .

Wouldn't know. However, if that was an issue, then, yes, I think she'd be obligated to tell someone so that she's not counted.

More or less. Non-Jews are not supposed to observe the Sabbath in the same manner as Jews, and therefore she should do at least one malacha during the day. That may be done privately, without publicizing it, though some people seem to be excited to learn that there is a convert-in-training in their community and then publicize that fact to anyone needing a "Shabbos goy." (E.g., "Oh, your stove didn't shut off; I'll grab Debbie at shul and send her over to you -- she's not Jewish yet.") I wouldn't do that, because I would feel that it's embarrassing the convert-in-training, but others think that you are giving her the opportunity to help someone.

In addition to letting someone know if he were to ask her out, there's at least one other case where it might be helpful to tell someone. I understand that it's not a problem to have a non-Jew over for a Shabbos meal, as you won't be cooking on Shabbos, but that it's more problematic to have a non-Jew over for a Yom Tov meal. Jews are allowed to cook on Yom Tov for themselves and for other Jews, but not for non-Jews. So some people are makpid not to have non-Jewish guests. I think I've heard some say that you can get around this by not making food based precisely on the number of guests, for example, not making 1/4 pound of meat for each of ten guests. But one should ask his Local Orthodox Rabbi. I have seen rabbis who did not invite their converts-in-training for a Yom Tov meal, but telling the students that it would be okay for them to accept an invitation extended by someone else.

She seems to have behaved appropriately. If she was in all earnest about the geirut, why should it pose a problem.
The same with a guy. If a guy seemed to be all I'd be looking for but hadn't been formally pronounced Jewish yet, I don't see why it would pose a problem if he acted in all honesty and seemed to be truly interested in living as a Jew (before he met me).

This isn't being dishonest. It's not the worlds busness I'm sure she's told her best friend, rov, and now you a potential spouse. Even though this is pointless for me since I'm a female and married, but if I were a guy in that situation I would still consider her. I actually heard of a girl who this happened to anyways if everything else is normal, then go for it, she still is just as amazing as before.

Most of the posts from this thread were split into a new topic located in the halacha forum.
http://www.hashkafah.com/Serving-wine-comp...rus-t52119.html

I was told that a bais din might be suspicious if she started dating someone who didn't have a problem with the fact that she was currently not a Jew even if she were living as a Jew because clearly the guy isn't frum enough so maybe she isn't frum enough. Would you agree?