Is this a bracha? What if he has goals that aren't necessarily correct? Let's say he wants to do every drug that is illegal in the US, should we bless him that he accomplish this?

This came to me when writing a card for a friend that had a baby. It's common to write 'may you be zoche to bring him to Torah to chupah and to maasim tovim'. Don't we want the child to go to Torah, chupah and maasim tovim even if the parents are NOT zoche? Who is in charge of coming up with these brachos? How do we know if these are the proper blessings to give a person?

Melech was very precise, he said, "Aim higher". Drugs are lower.

In the second case- that's a bracha to the parents, not the child.

Yup. Higher, as in towards a goal pleasing to God.


Yup: "My his father raise him to..."

So in case of newborn baby, we give father/parent a bracha, but we don't really care if the kid ends up with torah, chupah or maasim tovim? As long as father is zocheh, even if child doesn't get it?

I'm not sure what you're asking. A kid is born, and the dad is giving the kid a bris. Who the heck wouldn't wish that the dad raises the kid to ma'asim tovim? You want the kid should be raised to be a ruffian no goodnik? Even if the dad is currently undeserving [and I'm not sure that any dad is the process of giving his kid a bris, and involved in a mitzvah d'orayta, is underserving ba'asher hu sham], you want the dad to continue in his evil ways? I don't get the question.

Here is my question. I will try to make it more clear
We say 'may you be zocheh to bring him to chupah, to Torah, to maasim tovim'

If you say the bracha is for parent to have that zchus, then don't we want to give a bracha that child will actually be able to go to chupah, torah, masim tovim. Sometimes a parent IS zocheh but doesn't get it? (I think, not sure how brachos work)

If you say the bracha is for child to get to chupah, torah, massim tovim. Shouldn't we want child to get there, regardless of what zchuyos the parent has?

I dunno. The dad just did a mitzvah d'orayta, so we say effectively may you go from chayil to chayil, and just like you just gave the kid a brit milah, may you also raise him ma'asim tovim.

You want to give the kid a berachah directly that he should learn torah well and get married? Go ahead. But because the dad just did a mitzvah, we give the dad a berachah that he should continue in his mitzvot and raise the kid to ma'asim tovim.

[/guessing]

No we don't. We give the dad a bracha that he should be ZOCHE to do it, not that he should accomplish it. I see a difference between being zoche for ones' descendants to all be talmidei chachamim and for the reality in the matter? Does it seem like I'm making grey out of black/white? Perhaps I am which is why I don't get it and everyone else does.

In any case, about aiming, we can always wish that G-d grant them all that's good for them and assist them in reaching their loftier goals.

Agreed. I agree that bracha makes sense to me.

The idea is that no only should the kid merit the bracha, but that the parent should merit it together with the child.