Do we "deserve" the good/bad we receive from Hashem?

(This thought originated in the abortion/premie thread but I'm opening it up.)

I think it's ignorant and insensitive in the extreme to tell a sick or poor person that they "deserve" their fate. It's hard for me to imagine why people would "deserve" to die in a war, why people would "deserve" to have a disability, or why people would "deserve" to be poor.

Right. My point exactly. The word "deserve" loses meaning in such cases.

Yes, but you aren't allowed to TELL other people that when they're suffering.....

I think it's better to say - you must be really special because Hashem only gives challenges to the people who are special and He really likes...

Is the reverse true? Should one be worried if she/he is spared tragedy?

Should I be jealous of my friend who has had X happen to her?

I hope you've seen enough of my posts on H.com to know that the above is </sarcasm>

Yes, but since others say such things seriously, I treated it as such for the purposes of this thread.

"Deserve" is a loaded term and I think it's better not to use.

People should be grateful for good things that happen to them and use those good things as opportunities for growth towards being a better person. When good things happen a person should not feel like he "deserves" them, like he's entitled to them. That breeds arrogance which is a counter-productive trait.

And when bad things happen, people should do the be the best people possible and deal with the situation -- saying I am so bad I deserve this is not a good mindset. Our task is to grow and develop and live -- not to play victim and feel sorry for ourselves. It is ok to examine what we did that led to our predicament, and if there's anything we could've done better, but you do this because this helps you improve as a person -- not because it helps you determine whether you "deserved" what happened or not.

There's no use in feeling like a passive pawn in the hands of G-d.

Very good points.

However, the term IS used as in the following statement:

Those babies don't deserve to suffer.

Tiger got to hunt,
Bird got to fly;
Man got to sit and wonder, “Why, why, why?”

Tiger got to sleep,
Bird got to land;
Man got to tell himself he understand.

We're not entitled to anything. Just being alive is the greatest gift, without which we wouldn't be able to even ask this question. Bor sheshasisa mimenu, al tizrok bo aven. Don't throw stones into the well you drank from.

We're not entitled to goodness all our lives. We will all have joy and happiness and pain and suffering in various amounts, and we "deserve" it by definition of being alive. That is life.

Of course, we don't know what's truly good or bad. At one point, I was in a situation where I just sat down and cried for hours every day, I felt that my life was going nowhere and I was worthless. The experiences that caused that ended up opening previously impossible opportunities, meeting people who changed my life and doing things no human could have predicted. Today, I can look back and thank Hashem for everything. Did I deserve the pain? Do I deserve the good? It wasn't a matter of deserving, it was a matter of what Hashem wanted and wants from me.

'Deserve' is not the right word. First of all, things we see as bad (ie, struggles for your premie's life, ch"v), are there for a reason. The reason may be something good. The baby, who definitely does not 'deserve' to suffer, may be correcting a negative character trait in the mother.

A man who is blind may have that disability because he came down to correct one thing, and it is better for him if he can't see to sin. He may already have corrected that part, and if he would be able to see, then he would run the risk of undoing something that he already did.

Second, there are previous gilgulim. We all pay for things our previous gilgul did. That doesn't mean that we know what they are. And it doesn't mean that we, in this gilgul, deserve it. But it is a correction for our neshama.

'Deserve' does not mean that we did something bad. It means that this fate, and no other, will help us. Even if we don't see how at the moment, with our limited vision.

Your premise that good and bad even exists is a faulty one. Can you know what's best for you in the long run? Can you know the baby would have been better off in the long run? We make up romantic stories about a future that could have been and we feel pain at the loss of that fabricated future that might have never occurred.

There is chessed within everything that happens to a person. Realizing that, is the difference between pain and suffering versus pain and growth, and maybe even joy.