I don't know if this topic, or the way it's stated would be considered immodest for the forum, so my apologies in advance. It seems profound enough, as to require answers.

I have read in different places a teaching, which holds that the traits of parents pass on through to their offspring during conception. Furthermore, I have read that the actual state of mind of the partners at the moment, regardless of whether it is holy or not, or congruent to their traits or unusual, can have a permanent effect on the child. Not that it forever determine the child's destiny, but that places a bias on his traits to one end or the other.

These things, which I have read, I not been backed up with sources. What are the sources for this teaching. Is it true?

The source for all this is the Gemara in Nedarim 20.

bump

Isnt there only one officially approved position? msh
I guess people can believe whatever they want however i strongly suspect that if there was a study done, there wouldnt show a correlation between healthier babies - and how hard the participants thought of rambam during conception

I cannot be-LEEVE there was only one response to this thread.
I guess the site was a different place altogether back in '05.

I think the idea is just to encourage people to have proper thoughts during relations.

What does "proper thoughts" include? Thinking: "I'm doing this to sanctify g-d's name???"

That's not the proper thought unless you are wearing an explosives belt.

Ok then...So what is a "proper thought"?

So if one thinks of Albert Einstein during conception they will bear little Einsteins?

and if you shake around some gold coins in your hands, they will be rich

Perhaps, though only in the hairstyle-challenged aspect.

Nedarim 20:

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R. Johanan b. Dahabai said: The Ministering Angels told me four things: People are born lame because they [sc. their parents] overturned their table [i.e., practised unnatural cohabitation]; dumb, because they kiss 'that place'; deaf, because they converse during cohabitation; blind, because they look at 'that place'.

But this contradicts the following: Imma Shalom was asked: Why are thy children so exceedingly beautiful? She replied: [Because] he [my husband] 'converses' with me neither at the beginning nor at the end of the night, but [only] at midnight; and when he 'converses', he uncovers a handbreadth and covers a hand breadth, and is as though he were compelled by a demon. And when I asked him, What is the reason for this [for choosing midnight], he replied, So that I may not think of another woman, lest my children be as bastards. —

There is no difficulty: this refers to conjugal matters; the other refers to other matters.


R. Johanan said: The above is the view of R. Johanan b. Dahabai; but our Sages said: The halachah is not as R. Johanan b. Dahabai, but a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife [at intercourse]: A parable; Meat which comes from the abattoir, may be eaten salted, roasted, cooked or seethed; so with fish from the fishmonger. Amemar said: Who are the 'Ministering Angels'? The Rabbis. For should you maintain it literally, why did R. Johanan say that the halachah is not as R. Johanan b. Dahabai, seeing that the angels know more about the formation of the fetus than we? And why are they designated 'Ministering Angels'? — Because they are as distinguished as they.

A woman once came before Rabbi and said, 'Rabbi! I set a table before my husband, but he overturned it.' Rabbi replied: 'My daughter! the Torah hath permitted thee to him — what then can I do for thee?' A woman once came before Rab and complained. 'Rabbi! I set a table before my husband, but he overturned it.' Rab replied; Wherein does it differ from a fish?


"And I will purge out from among you the rebels, and them that transgress against me. R. Levi said: This refers to children belonging to the following nine categories: children of fear, of outrage, of a hated wife, one under a ban, of a woman mistaken for another, of strife, of intoxication [during intercourse], of a mentally divorced wife, of promiscuity, and of a brazen woman.

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Yeh. Because if people didn't have what to add, they didn't.

How about thinking of how much you love your spouse?

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well thats an interesting way to look at it

People used to be more creative in their speech.