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There are three prohibitions connected with Lo Sih-cho-name:
1. you cant give Goyim a portion in Eretz Yisroel (karkah)
2. you cant give them a free present (matnas chinom)
3. you cant praise them (chane)
I am finding I have difficutly with #3. What are you suppose to do when a non-Jewish person/coworker shows you a pic of their child...and you need to say something? Or when you are just getting to know them...and you are the type to get friendly with ppl thru compliments..??
What do you suggest?
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"Lo Sih-cho-name" the three issurim connected with this
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#3
Kalashnikover_Rebbe 
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Posted 14 September 2009 - 11:29 PM
Chazal and the Torah went through considerable lengths to ensure that we keep our distance from non Jews to prevent intermarriage and assimilation.... It's not by accident, so yes, its a sticky situation, but maybe the whole POINT is to try as much as feasible NOT to end up in such situations....
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#5
FYI
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:41 AM
smile, on Sep 14 2009, 10:23 PM, said:
There are three prohibitions connected with Lo Sih-cho-name:
1. you cant give Goyim a portion in Eretz Yisroel (karkah)
2. you cant give them a free present (matnas chinom)
3. you cant praise them (chane)
I am finding I have difficutly with #3. What are you suppose to do when a non-Jewish person/coworker shows you a pic of their child...and you need to say something? Or when you are just getting to know them...and you are the type to get friendly with ppl thru compliments..??
What do you suggest?
1. you cant give Goyim a portion in Eretz Yisroel (karkah)
2. you cant give them a free present (matnas chinom)
3. you cant praise them (chane)
I am finding I have difficutly with #3. What are you suppose to do when a non-Jewish person/coworker shows you a pic of their child...and you need to say something? Or when you are just getting to know them...and you are the type to get friendly with ppl thru compliments..??
What do you suggest?
I believe you should say something nice so that you stay on good terms with them. You are always supposed to be polite, if they can n any way benefit you and a coworker can make it or break it for you.
Many people wish they could change their life, when all they really need to do is change their attitude towards life. - Sharon
#6
smile
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:26 PM
accolade, on Sep 15 2009, 12:25 AM, said:
If getting along with them well benefits you in any way, it's probably much less of an - or a non - issue.
But just to play devil's advocate: cldnt you say that you could find other ways to get along with them..without having to praise them/butter them up?
Kalashnikover_Rebbe, on Sep 15 2009, 12:29 AM, said:
Chazal and the Torah went through considerable lengths to ensure that we keep our distance from non Jews to prevent intermarriage and assimilation.... It's not by accident, so yes, its a sticky situation, but maybe the whole POINT is to try as much as feasible NOT to end up in such situations....
How do you show you are friendly and want to have a relationship (work relationship) with them without saying nice things about them...? What would you do?
#7
Rentsy
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:32 PM
And yet Ezekial Landau wrote lavish praises to the gentile government, to keep good relations.
You're crazy to not "play along" when someone shows you baby pictures.
It does not sanctify G-d's name to be mean.
You're crazy to not "play along" when someone shows you baby pictures.
It does not sanctify G-d's name to be mean.
Rambam (Hilchot Teshuva, Chapter 5, Halacha #1) said:
Choice, to all humans, is given. If one wishes to turn to the path of goodness, and be entirely righteous, the power is in their hands. And if, one should want to turn to the path of evilness, and be entirely bad, the power in their hands.
Martin Buber, in I and Thou said:
Pitiful are those who leave the basic word unspoken, but wretched are those who, instead of that, address ideas with a concept or a slogan as if that were their name!
Amos (8:11) said:
"Behold! Days are coming", says my Lord, God, "When I will send a famine on the land, not a hunger for food nor a thirst for water, but to hear the words of God."
#8
Savannah
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:36 PM
smile, on Sep 15 2009, 10:26 PM, said:
How do you show you are friendly and want to have a relationship (work relationship) with them without saying nice things about them...? What would you do?
Why would you have to say nice things about people in order to be friendly and have a decent work relationship with them?
#9
smile
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:54 PM
Savannah, on Sep 15 2009, 10:36 PM, said:
Why would you have to say nice things about people in order to be friendly and have a decent work relationship with them?
here's where I need some help..I dont know any other way...plz enlighten me!
#10
Savannah
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 10:02 PM
smile, on Sep 15 2009, 10:54 PM, said:
here's where I need some help..I dont know any other way...plz enlighten me!
If someone shows you a baby pictures, you can just say stuff like, "Aw, look at that." It's implying that the kid is cute, but it's not really flat out saying it, but that's how the person will interpret it.
As for getting to know someone, I talk to them about the job, find out about their interests. Find out what you have in common. There's no need for compliments.
#11
Rentsy
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 10:36 PM
I think as long you are not praising them to the detriment of a fellow Jew, you ought to be able to praise them.
If it helps Jews, certainly you can praise or flatter someone.
You count as a Jew.
If it helps Jews, certainly you can praise or flatter someone.
You count as a Jew.
Rambam (Hilchot Teshuva, Chapter 5, Halacha #1) said:
Choice, to all humans, is given. If one wishes to turn to the path of goodness, and be entirely righteous, the power is in their hands. And if, one should want to turn to the path of evilness, and be entirely bad, the power in their hands.
Martin Buber, in I and Thou said:
Pitiful are those who leave the basic word unspoken, but wretched are those who, instead of that, address ideas with a concept or a slogan as if that were their name!
Amos (8:11) said:
"Behold! Days are coming", says my Lord, God, "When I will send a famine on the land, not a hunger for food nor a thirst for water, but to hear the words of God."
#12
Kalashnikover_Rebbe
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 11:38 PM
smile, on Sep 16 2009, 05:26 AM, said:
How do you show you are friendly and want to have a relationship (work relationship) with them without saying nice things about them...? What would you do?
You DON'T... That was my point... You work there, you need to interact with people in order to do your job, but you're not paid to "be anyone's friend"....
Why have workplaces become romper rooms of late. Don't people actually WORK anymore instead of making their place of employment a real life facebook account???
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