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There are three prohibitions connected with Lo Sih-cho-name:
1. you cant give Goyim a portion in Eretz Yisroel (karkah)
2. you cant give them a free present (matnas chinom)
3. you cant praise them (chane)
I am finding I have difficutly with #3. What are you suppose to do when a non-Jewish person/coworker shows you a pic of their child...and you need to say something? Or when you are just getting to know them...and you are the type to get friendly with ppl thru compliments..??
What do you suggest?
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"Lo Sih-cho-name" the three issurim connected with this
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#3 
Kalashnikover_Rebbe 
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Posted 14 September 2009 - 11:29 PM
Chazal and the Torah went through considerable lengths to ensure that we keep our distance from non Jews to prevent intermarriage and assimilation.... It's not by accident, so yes, its a sticky situation, but maybe the whole POINT is to try as much as feasible NOT to end up in such situations....
[/flirting]
#4
Snag
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 04:55 AM
for darkei sholom, or to avoid eivoh, it is permissible. (caveat: i ain't no talmid chochom, so cylor)
"He was, and is yet, most likely, the wearisomest self-righteous pharisee that ever ransacked a bible to rake the promises to himself and fling the curses on his neighbors"
"Now, all is dashed wrong by the fool's craving to hear evil of self that haunts some people like a demon!"
"Now, all is dashed wrong by the fool's craving to hear evil of self that haunts some people like a demon!"
#5
FYI
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:41 AM
smile, on Sep 14 2009, 10:23 PM, said:
There are three prohibitions connected with Lo Sih-cho-name:
1. you cant give Goyim a portion in Eretz Yisroel (karkah)
2. you cant give them a free present (matnas chinom)
3. you cant praise them (chane)
I am finding I have difficutly with #3. What are you suppose to do when a non-Jewish person/coworker shows you a pic of their child...and you need to say something? Or when you are just getting to know them...and you are the type to get friendly with ppl thru compliments..??
What do you suggest?
1. you cant give Goyim a portion in Eretz Yisroel (karkah)
2. you cant give them a free present (matnas chinom)
3. you cant praise them (chane)
I am finding I have difficutly with #3. What are you suppose to do when a non-Jewish person/coworker shows you a pic of their child...and you need to say something? Or when you are just getting to know them...and you are the type to get friendly with ppl thru compliments..??
What do you suggest?
I believe you should say something nice so that you stay on good terms with them. You are always supposed to be polite, if they can n any way benefit you and a coworker can make it or break it for you.
Many people wish they could change their life, when all they really need to do is change their attitude towards life. - Sharon
#6
smile
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:26 PM
accolade, on Sep 15 2009, 12:25 AM, said:
If getting along with them well benefits you in any way, it's probably much less of an - or a non - issue.
But just to play devil's advocate: cldnt you say that you could find other ways to get along with them..without having to praise them/butter them up?
Kalashnikover_Rebbe, on Sep 15 2009, 12:29 AM, said:
Chazal and the Torah went through considerable lengths to ensure that we keep our distance from non Jews to prevent intermarriage and assimilation.... It's not by accident, so yes, its a sticky situation, but maybe the whole POINT is to try as much as feasible NOT to end up in such situations....
How do you show you are friendly and want to have a relationship (work relationship) with them without saying nice things about them...? What would you do?
#7
Rentsy
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:32 PM
And yet Ezekial Landau wrote lavish praises to the gentile government, to keep good relations.
You're crazy to not "play along" when someone shows you baby pictures.
It does not sanctify G-d's name to be mean.
You're crazy to not "play along" when someone shows you baby pictures.
It does not sanctify G-d's name to be mean.
Marcus Aurelius said:
How many, together with whom I came into the world, are already gone out of it?
Very Lucky Guy, on 03 June 2010 - 12:11 PM, said:
Oooh! You got served!
(Pirkei Avot Ch. 2) Rabbi Tarfon said:
Rabbi Tarfon said: the day is short, the work is great, the workers [that's us] are lazy, the reward is great, and the Master of the house insists.
If you have learned much Torah, you will be greatly rewarded, for your Master is trustworthy to pay you the reward of your labors. And know that the reward of the righteous is in the World to Come.
If you have learned much Torah, you will be greatly rewarded, for your Master is trustworthy to pay you the reward of your labors. And know that the reward of the righteous is in the World to Come.
#8
Savannah
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:36 PM
smile, on Sep 15 2009, 10:26 PM, said:
How do you show you are friendly and want to have a relationship (work relationship) with them without saying nice things about them...? What would you do?
Why would you have to say nice things about people in order to be friendly and have a decent work relationship with them?
#9
smile
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 09:54 PM
Savannah, on Sep 15 2009, 10:36 PM, said:
Why would you have to say nice things about people in order to be friendly and have a decent work relationship with them?
here's where I need some help..I dont know any other way...plz enlighten me!
#10
Savannah
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 10:02 PM
smile, on Sep 15 2009, 10:54 PM, said:
here's where I need some help..I dont know any other way...plz enlighten me!
If someone shows you a baby pictures, you can just say stuff like, "Aw, look at that." It's implying that the kid is cute, but it's not really flat out saying it, but that's how the person will interpret it.
As for getting to know someone, I talk to them about the job, find out about their interests. Find out what you have in common. There's no need for compliments.
#11
Rentsy
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 10:36 PM
I think as long you are not praising them to the detriment of a fellow Jew, you ought to be able to praise them.
If it helps Jews, certainly you can praise or flatter someone.
You count as a Jew.
If it helps Jews, certainly you can praise or flatter someone.
You count as a Jew.
Marcus Aurelius said:
How many, together with whom I came into the world, are already gone out of it?
Very Lucky Guy, on 03 June 2010 - 12:11 PM, said:
Oooh! You got served!
(Pirkei Avot Ch. 2) Rabbi Tarfon said:
Rabbi Tarfon said: the day is short, the work is great, the workers [that's us] are lazy, the reward is great, and the Master of the house insists.
If you have learned much Torah, you will be greatly rewarded, for your Master is trustworthy to pay you the reward of your labors. And know that the reward of the righteous is in the World to Come.
If you have learned much Torah, you will be greatly rewarded, for your Master is trustworthy to pay you the reward of your labors. And know that the reward of the righteous is in the World to Come.
#12
Kalashnikover_Rebbe
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Posted 15 September 2009 - 11:38 PM
smile, on Sep 16 2009, 05:26 AM, said:
How do you show you are friendly and want to have a relationship (work relationship) with them without saying nice things about them...? What would you do?
You DON'T... That was my point... You work there, you need to interact with people in order to do your job, but you're not paid to "be anyone's friend"....
Why have workplaces become romper rooms of late. Don't people actually WORK anymore instead of making their place of employment a real life facebook account???
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