17 replies to this topic

[the Real Adiel]

Why do we have a "Shalom Zachar"?

I did a search on H.com and found this:
I didn't credit all the quotes but they are all found on two threads. One...Two

I once read (questions and answers in The Jewish Press-don't laugh) that one of the reasons for a Shalom Zachor is to fufill the mitzva of bikur cholim with regaurds to the mother.

I looked into the issue, and apparently the main reason for Shalom Zachar is to give the baby well wishes before the bris, which is physically demanding

I thought the reason for a Shalom Zachar is to celebrate the baby's first Shabbos, and the reason why it's for a boy is because he can't have his bris until he lives through a Shabbos and absorbs the special kedusha from it.

reason for a shalom zachar is because when the baby is in its mother's womb, it is taught the entire Torah. At birth, a malach(angel) touches the baby at the spot right above the upper lip and below the nose(that indentation called the filtrum)and the baby forgets all the Torah that it was taught (the reason is once you've learned something and then forget it, there's an incentive to try and relearn it again. This loss of Torah knowledge is a form a mourning so people get together on Friday night as a form of "nichum aveilim". The reason Friday night is chosen is simply because everyone is available(i.e. no work) to come by. Also, Friday night is chosen because the term is "Shalom Zachar" -Zachar means boy but has the same root as Zachor( i.e. Zayin, Chaf , Reish) as in "Zachor Et Yom HaShabbat L'Kadsho. To reiterate the mourning theme, that's why chick peas(Arbis) are served at the Shalom Zachar(they're round hence the circle of life theme)

according to the Noda BiYehuda it was established to let people know about an upcoming bris without letting the Romans know?

Does anyone have a source for any of this? Does anyone know of other reasons not mentioned here? I need to prepare something to say.

[Red Hare]

Reason #1 would hold water if the sholom zochor was held where the baby is!

[agent220]

Reason #1 would hold water if the sholom zochor was held where the baby is!

or where the mother is...

[politico]

Does anyone know of other reasons not mentioned here?

religiously sanctioned opportunity to chill with the guys and drink beer.

[hashkcoffee]

my husband says it was originally so that people would visit the yoledes and baby.
He chuckledover politico's response, which I suspect istoday's excuse for a shalom zachor

[politico]

my husband says it was originally so that people would visit the yoledes and baby.
He chuckledover politico's response, which I suspect istoday's excuse for a shalom zachor

i made mindy's husband chuckle

[Nooch]

religiously sanctioned opportunity to chill with the guys and drink beer.

Isn't Judaism great!

[Tova]

Hope you had a few cold ones to wash down the arbes. Mazel Tov, TRA.

[Gretchen]

..

[brianna]

Didn't Brianna (as a newbie) have some explanation to this regarding Lillith?

Did I?

[the Real Adiel]

Hope you had a few cold ones to wash down the arbes. Mazel Tov, TRA.

More then a few

[Aristotle]

Does anyone know of other reasons not mentioned here? I need to prepare something to say.

Enjoy.

[the Real Adiel]

Enjoy.

Thanks (not that I can use it anymore) but at least there is a reference for the next guy.

[Short]

Mazel Tov, TRA.

Yes, a zachor was/is held so that people could wish the mother and baby well. In some parts of the world, this is still upheld, so it actually makes some sense. In Stamford Hill (London, UK) the zachor is (sometimes, I guess, I'm sure there are those who do differently) held where the mother and baby are, and women are invited too. Of course in my makom, we turned the tables 'round and made it into a beerfest for men held in a shul, defeating the whole purpose as neither mother nor baby is there. Kind of like what we did with the vach nacht.

[FYI]

Thanks (not that I can use it anymore) but at least there is a reference for the next guy.

I guess that means you only plan on having daughters from now on????

[the Real Adiel]

I guess that means you only plan on having daughters from now on????

I nicknamed my first one "peru" the next one "revu" and this one "kol hadayus" if I have any more they are all going to be named "tofastah meruba"

[Liorah-Lleucu]

Didn't Brianna (as a newbie) have some explanation to this regarding Lillith?

Can someone dig this up from the dungeon? I'd like to read it.

[Liorah-Lleucu]

Apparently no one is willing to go down into the dungeon to retrieve the post. So, from AskMoses:

Several different explanations are offered for the custom of shalom zachar:

1) It is a thanksgiving meal. We are offering thanks to G-d that the baby was born safe and sound. Birth (especially in the past) was a very dangerous time for the (mother and) baby, so we thank G-d that the baby survived this ordeal.

2) We come to console the child who has just forgotten all the Torah he studied while in his mother's womb (see Niddah 30b). For this reason many people serve beans or chickpeas at the Sholom Zochor, since these are foods served at the house of a mourner.

3) According to Kabbalah, a child is not ready to be circumcised until he has gone through a Shabbat, for the Shabbat provides the infant with the spiritual power necessary to enter into a lasting covenant with Hashem. (This is (one of) the inner reasons why the Brit is on the eight day, to ensure that a Shabbat passes). For this reason we make a special celebration on the Shabbat after the baby is born. [The advantage of this reason is that we can also understand why shalom zachars are only done for boys.]

Reason 1 would pertain to Lilith as Lilith is commonly understood through fallen natural consciousness as a "baby-killer".

Reason 2 would pertain to Lilith as Lilith is commonly understood to be a male's "first true wife" which fled Gan Eden and fallen natural consciousness; the male child is mourning her loss.

Reason 3 would pertain to Lilith as Lilith is understood through shabbat consciousness and the promise of finding and reuniting with her again.

Lilith, Lilith, Lilith, light of the Night divine (niddah 30b) ... all shalom zochor is filled with thoughts of Lilith.