Budget Stress
#2
Posted 25 February 2004 - 09:27 AM
As far as putting pressure: I think most girls that marry learning boys are willing to sacrifice. It's something that is understood beforehand. But if something unexpected comes up, then that might put stress on a marriage.
The main thing to remember is that Hashem is running the world, and everything ends up working out.
#3
Posted 25 February 2004 - 02:26 PM
Sadly enough, although there are chatan classes and kallah classes that address taharat hamishpacha and shalom ba'ayit, there are no classes that address financial management and budgeting before the marriage.
Financial management and budgeting is an interest of mine. If anyone would like to share ideas and situations on this thread, I am willing to contribute. A warning to those looking to improve their situation: you will have to change habits if you want to improve/alleviate your situation. Learning financial mangement skills and budgeting requires extreme discipline and will make your habits different from others in the frum community. However, years down the road, you will probably experience great satisfaction and security.
#4
Posted 25 February 2004 - 02:53 PM
Quote
There's a kollel I know about, they have shiurim on this.
But again, you know what they tell you?
Whoever has a cell phone, cut down on it. Not so important, can save you money.
Whoever has a car, cut down on it. Not so important, can save you money.
etc etc.. This much everyone knows. Or maybe not
#5
Posted 25 February 2004 - 02:54 PM
SS613, on Feb 25 2004, 02:26 PM, said:
Great point. We teach about making good marriage with communication etc, but we really should also be teaching new couples pratical life-skills too- how to buget, monthly and long term, about building good credit history, investments, home-buying etc. (Im sure you can come up with more)
#6
Posted 25 February 2004 - 03:00 PM
Nechama, on Feb 25 2004, 02:54 PM, said:
Doesnt this really take common sense??
#9
Posted 25 February 2004 - 03:04 PM
#11
Posted 25 February 2004 - 03:12 PM
gewdgal, on Feb 25 2004, 03:00 PM, said:
Nechama, on Feb 25 2004, 02:54 PM, said:
Doesnt this really take common sense??
No it doesnt take "common sense," but it does. Meaning- everyone can learn how, if they are taught.
Why not spend 1,000's of $ you dont have every month on your credit card and then be in debit! Lots of people do that because they have not been taught that you cant spend more money than you own and stay aflot. Many people live beyond their means, via common sense you would not do that, but people do it anyways.
PS. Sorry about the Temp out of service, I dont know whats causing it.
#12 Guest_machshaifa_*
Posted 25 February 2004 - 03:20 PM
And no! Sadly, not all girls who marry Kollel guys are willing to sacrifice some don't even know what it means to sacrifice.
#13
Posted 25 February 2004 - 06:24 PM
machshaifa, on Feb 25 2004, 03:20 PM, said:
You nailed it right on the button.
Some even do stupid things after the marriage because things don't go exactly how they want. (they don't realize that not everything goes as smooth as they wish.)
#14
Posted 25 February 2004 - 07:19 PM
Unfortunately, there is an assumption that parents are responsible for getting a young couple started in life. I find this interesting considering that the Rambam states that first a man buys a field, second he builds a house, and third he acquires a wife. Today, the opposite seems true. . . first a boy finds a wife and years later he is forced into some semblance of independence.
I think that so long as young people view their parents as responsible for getting them started in married life, they will not begin to think long term and settle into a career, make appropriate investments, etc.
I, unfortunately, know very few young couples who are on their own two feet.
#15
Posted 25 February 2004 - 07:23 PM
Faigy, on Feb 25 2004, 02:53 PM, said:
Whoever has a car, cut down on it. Not so important, can save you money.[/i]
Although advice like this is "common sense," it is worth reinforcing! I believe people believe that savings are built in the hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars. Often times a $20 a month expense that is unnecessary will not be cut out of one's budget because "it is only $20 a month." When expenses are tracked carefully, most people will find that there are areas where they can cut. Willingness to make the cuts is a whole other issue!
#16
Posted 25 February 2004 - 07:33 PM
SS613, on Feb 25 2004, 02:26 PM, said:
Never thought of that. Great point.
mosheshmeal
.
#17
Posted 25 February 2004 - 08:33 PM
SS613, on Feb 25 2004, 07:19 PM, said:
I, unfortunately, know very few young couples who are on their own two feet.
I think you nailed it. Many newlyweds (and even a few years into marriage!) are not independent at all, ranging from being financially supported by parents, to spending most Shabbosim at their parents' houses, to never making a single yom tov on their own, to not knowing how to make decisions! I think it's a chisaron if a couple lives more at the wife's mother's house than at their own. I mean, if you're not mature enough to be an independent couple and family of your own, then why get married?
When my husband and I got married, it was difficult for us since our parents were the opposite extreme - my parents b'shita did not give any financial support, and his parents were very uninvolved in general. It was only hard because everyone I knew around me was being supported and was always running to mommy for this and that. But you know what? We were also much, much happier to have it our way because it helped make us true, independent adults.
#18
Posted 25 February 2004 - 08:54 PM
Faigy, on Feb 25 2004, 03:04 PM, said:
how can you assume that?
#19
Posted 25 February 2004 - 08:59 PM
politico, on Feb 25 2004, 08:54 PM, said:
Faigy, on Feb 25 2004, 03:04 PM, said:
how can you assume that?
Ditto, Politico. The above statement may be true for some but not all.
#20
Posted 25 February 2004 - 09:52 PM
cornie, on Feb 25 2004, 08:59 PM, said:
politico, on Feb 25 2004, 08:54 PM, said:
Faigy, on Feb 25 2004, 03:04 PM, said:
how can you assume that?
Ditto, Politico. The above statement may be true for some but not all.
Hmm. Maybe this money which they "have but don't have" is the egg nest (nest egg? I forget what its called)- you can have money stored away (for big things, like buying a house) which youre not going to use. Your month to month expenses can be tight then, although you "have money".

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