No. I'm confessing that I have learned some halacha, and the idea of "let's pretend you are bleeding from your uterus even though we know you aren't" isn't a particularly appealing way to start a marriage. It's weird and I don't really like it, but I guess I'll have to deal with it.
I think this deserves its own thread. This is not often talked about, I guess because its a one time thing. But I agree dam besulim is a strange halacha and really is an unfair and difficult way to start a marriage. And its one of those frustrating areas that makes me wonder what were those Rabbis thinking?! Especially if a couple is able to refrain from touching the whole relationship and wait until they are married, its like -- here you go, a couple of hours to do it all and than nothing. After this crazy physical thing which the woman (and often both) has never ever done before, they need to seperate and can't even finish their wedding night in the same bed. Not even a hug to make sure she is ok. Then comes sheva brachos where you basically have 24/7 do be with one another and few other people besides for the evening parties. And again, not even a hug is allowed. By the time the woman finally makes it to the mikveh, its often 3 weeks or more into marriage, at which point, the couple has probably fought, had certain fairy-tale marriage exepctations dashed, and had normal beginning-of-marriage tension (presumably added by the fact they couldn't touch). That initial 'we just want to be in each other's arms' is just not as strong and what a shame that the couple couldn't be together for longer during the first days and weeks of their new union.
I know people push off consumating the marriage until a few days go by which at least gives them more time. But I'm sure thats not easy for the guy and halachically its not considered good. Plus if the girls period suddenly shows up, they are in trouble.
I heard from someone else that she went to a doctor before her wedding and got her hymen broken. i think thats just brilliant. Sure, not an eidel thing which anyone would encourage and supposedly it changes the kesuba or something but is it halachically really assur? I think it would give the new couple such a wonderful start to their marraige -- a honeymoon where they can physically be with one another as they please insted of spending the days in seperate beds just longing for one another.
