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fighting in public with your spouse


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#1 LoveToLaugh

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 12:26 AM

What do you think of spouses arguing in public? I'm not talking about feisty fights with insults and flying dishes. I mean day to day disagreements that normal couples have. Do you think its OK? Good? Bad? Would you ever do so in public? Does it make you uncomfortable as a viewer? Does it matter how close you are to the couple?
God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

#2 accolade

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 01:54 AM

Disagreements are fine, arguments are not.
דעלך סני לחברך לא תעביד

#3 spazztazztic

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 04:23 AM

Disagreements are fine, arguments are not.

:stupid:

#4 Kalashnikover_Rebbe

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 06:00 AM

Frankly, I tend to enjoy them, as long as I don't get caught in the crossfire.....
[/flirting]

#5 Bet Chesed

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 07:24 AM

I don't enjoy arguments by anyone in public. They make other people who aren't involved uncomfortable. I have to deal with these at my workplace almost every day.
:argue:
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#6 Kalashnikover_Rebbe

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 07:31 AM

I don't enjoy arguments by anyone in public. They make other people who aren't involved uncomfortable. I have to deal with these at my workplace almost every day.
:argue:

It's good for popcorn sales though... :pardon:
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#7 Vintage

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 08:07 AM

Makes me want to hide.

#8 warren

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 09:04 AM

What do you think of spouses arguing in public? I'm not talking about feisty fights with insults and flying dishes. I mean day to day disagreements that normal couples have.


Disagreements are fine, arguments are not.

It seems to me tha tLTL includes both fights and disagreements as types of arguing
Attached File  129100241126700318.png   54.24KB   7 downloads
but accolade distingishes between arguments and disagreements
Attached File  129100245776789598.png   50.49KB   7 downloads
I wasn't sure if there's an overlap or not.
Poe's law: without a clear indication of the author's intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between sincere extremism and an exaggerated parody of extremism

If not now, when? Because I have lunch plans.

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The Uncertainty Principle. It proves we can't ever really know... what's going on. So it shouldn't bother you. Not being able to figure anything out. Although you will be responsible for this on the mid-term. - "A Serious Man"

#9 LoveToLaugh

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Posted 07 February 2010 - 07:47 PM

I don't enjoy arguments by anyone in public. They make other people who aren't involved uncomfortable. I have to deal with these at my workplace almost every day.
:argue:

really? they can be so fun and you can learn from them.
I think public arguements between spouses can never be really the same as when there are no people around.
God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

#10 Vintage

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 12:03 PM

LTL - are you being serious here?

When I see a couple fighting or arguing in public, I cannot get that image out of my mind every time I see them subsequently. Do I want people's picture of me and my spouse to be "the arguing couple?"

#11 FYI

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 01:21 PM

Vintage, I agree with you. I still remember eating at a couple's hosue and seeing them at each other. To this day, whenever I see them, that images pops into my head.

I also think a lot of it depends on how it's handled. MH and I disagree plenty but we still try to do so without all that yelling and screaming (even in private), but we would still rather disagree in private than in public.
Many people wish they could change their life, when all they really need to do is change their attitude towards life. - Sharon

#12 LoveToLaugh

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 03:21 PM

LTL - are you being serious here?

When I see a couple fighting or arguing in public, I cannot get that image out of my mind every time I see them subsequently. Do I want people's picture of me and my spouse to be "the arguing couple?"

i am being serious. I dont think every argument needs to be this dramatic thing that 'omg, i cant believe i just saw that' thing. In a way its the opposite of PDA. don't go overboard but a little bit is not a big deal.
God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

#13 YBS

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 03:49 PM

What do you think of spouses arguing in public?


Inappropriate.
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I don't agree! I'm just lazy to type.

#14 Belle

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 06:14 PM

I see many [happily married and not] couples argue in public, and sometimes a really nasty comment can be said, even with even tones. That really ticks me off. I don't see how people can shame or insult a spouse in public.

Personally, I don't remember their argument the next time we're with them because I know these things happen.

Disagreeing is fine, anything more than that doesn't have a place in public view.
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#15 Vintage

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Posted 08 February 2010 - 07:04 PM

I will SLIGHTLY concede that sometimes this can be OK based on the personalities of the spouses. Or when they are dramatizing trivial things - like whether the cholent is better this week or the week before. But as a whole, count me out.

#16 warren

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 06:42 AM

I see many [happily married and not] couples argue in public, and sometimes a really nasty comment can be said, even with even tones. That really ticks me off. I don't see how people can shame or insult a spouse in public.

Posted Image
Poe's law: without a clear indication of the author's intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between sincere extremism and an exaggerated parody of extremism

If not now, when? Because I have lunch plans.

Purple is indeed very important

The Uncertainty Principle. It proves we can't ever really know... what's going on. So it shouldn't bother you. Not being able to figure anything out. Although you will be responsible for this on the mid-term. - "A Serious Man"

#17 Pinchas

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 06:59 AM

Not like the game is over... just extra innings... and they are the home team.

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For the record, IRL he is a really nice guy! - HappyDuck, Z"L


#18 FYI

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 02:14 PM

I see many [happily married and not] couples argue in public, and sometimes a really nasty comment can be said, even with even tones. That really ticks me off. I don't see how people can shame or insult a spouse in public.

I have learned that sometimes those nasty comments said in even tones meaing something entirely different to the listener than to the couple. Some people find some things insulting and some don't, it's a way of talking. Usually if the tone is keyed down it really isn't a fight, in my experience.
Many people wish they could change their life, when all they really need to do is change their attitude towards life. - Sharon

#19 Belle

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 03:29 PM

I have learned that sometimes those nasty comments said in even tones meaing something entirely different to the listener than to the couple. Some people find some things insulting and some don't, it's a way of talking. Usually if the tone is keyed down it really isn't a fight, in my experience.


I completely disagree. Insults or nasty comments have no place in public.
"Belle has the right of it" - Shemmy

"i have come to believe that belle is closer to the truth" - Snag

"Belle is, of course, right." - Razie

#20 FYI

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Posted 09 February 2010 - 03:42 PM

My point is that sometimes what you 'hear' as nasty or insulting, the others don't. Similar to how saying 'rich snobs' some people can take offense and some people can laugh it off because they hear it as humor. It often depends on the communication between spouse.
Many people wish they could change their life, when all they really need to do is change their attitude towards life. - Sharon




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