[Arizona]

Rentsy, on 28 July 2010 - 10:24 PM, said:

Then why are you artificially "choosing" one to emphasize?

Like, there are mitzvot that, in hindsight, I see that I went far beyond what is usually done. But I did it because it just felt right at the time. There was never any conscious thought on my part "Okay, now I'll choose this mitzva to emphasize."

Well, I guess that's the discussion. Should one choose a special mitzvah and if so, what would that look like?

[Savannah]

Arizona, on 29 July 2010 - 01:14 PM, said:

Well, I guess that's the discussion. Should one choose a special mitzvah and if so, what would that look like?

I think it sounds like a nice idea. Though I'm not sure a mitzva is good to choose as much as a middah or a chessed.

[Arizona]

Savannah, on 29 July 2010 - 12:29 PM, said:

I think it sounds like a nice idea. Though I'm not sure a mitzva is good to choose as much as a middah or a chessed.

How so?

(As noted, I didn't invent this idea and I'm guessing there's a reason why she advocated it this way.)

(I'm wondering if it's because most mitzvahs are concrete things you do and can therefore be targeted in a way that a middah (e.g., being more patient) can't.)

[Savannah]

Arizona, on 29 July 2010 - 03:32 PM, said:

How so?

(As noted, I didn't invent this idea and I'm guessing there's a reason why she advocated it this way.)

(I'm wondering if it's because most mitzvahs are concrete things you do and can therefore be targeted in a way that a middah (e.g., being more patient) can't.)

I think the problem with choosing a mitzva is that there's really nowhere to go with it unless you've been particularly lax with it or you want to take on a chumra. But once you've taken on the chumra, you're done. As opposed to a middah, which is never ending. Let's say you want to be more patient -- how many times a day will a parent's patience be tested? How likely is it that they'll pass the test every time? Not likely at all. So there's always room for improvement

[Snag]

Arizona, on 29 July 2010 - 03:32 PM, said:

(I'm wondering if it's because most mitzvahs are concrete things you do and can therefore be targeted in a way that a middah (e.g., being more patient) can't.)

i think middos can be targeted - patience, for instance can be something you can continually work on, and your grandchildren can remember "bubby never lost her cool".

[Arizona]

Savannah, on 29 July 2010 - 12:38 PM, said:

I think the problem with choosing a mitzva is that there's really nowhere to go with it unless you've been particularly lax with it or you want to take on a chumra. But once you've taken on the chumra, you're done. As opposed to a middah, which is never ending. Let's say you want to be more patient -- how many times a day will a parent's patience be tested? How likely is it that they'll pass the test every time? Not likely at all. So there's always room for improvement

No. She definitely wasn't talking about a chumra. Just connecting to it in a special way. Like really connecting to and being inspired by lighting candles. No fancy equipment or anything, just really focusing on it as it's happening. I have a friend who really focuses on the words in al-hamichya. For some reason, those particular words really speak to her so she taps into that.

Snag, on 29 July 2010 - 12:39 PM, said:

i think middos can be targeted - patience, for instance can be something you can continually work on, and your grandchildren can remember "bubby never lost her cool".

Oh, definitely middos should be worked on. And "Bubby never lost her cool" is awesome. But, they're also something that can be frustrating. For instance, "Bubby tried not to lose her cool but remember that one time when Uncle Kovi. . ." isn't nearly as inspiring.

[Savannah]

Arizona, on 29 July 2010 - 03:44 PM, said:

No. She definitely wasn't talking about a chumra. Just connecting to it in a special way. Like really connecting to and being inspired by lighting candles. No fancy equipment or anything, just really focusing on it as it's happening. I have a friend who really focuses on the words in al-hamichya. For some reason, those particular words really speak to her so she taps into that.

Sure, you could do that. It's just taking extra care with your kavanah.

[Arizona]

Savannah, on 29 July 2010 - 12:46 PM, said:

Sure, you could do that. It's just taking extra care with your kavanah.

Right. In that instance. But it doesn't have to be all kavanah all the time, it can be a specific prayer.

Or, it can be something that doesn't have a prayer attached. Like maaser.

[Snag]

Arizona, on 29 July 2010 - 03:44 PM, said:

Oh, definitely middos should be worked on. And "Bubby never lost her cool" is awesome. But, they're also something that can be frustrating. For instance, "Bubby tried not to lose her cool but remember that one time when Uncle Kovi. . ." isn't nearly as inspiring.

right. but something being more difficult just makes it all the more special when it's achieved.

[Arizona]

Snag, on 29 July 2010 - 12:49 PM, said:

right. but something being more difficult just makes it all the more special when it's achieved.

Ok. Granted.

So, in your mind, is it better (however you define "better") to focus on a particular midda than a particular mitzva?

[Snag]

Arizona, on 29 July 2010 - 03:50 PM, said:

Ok. Granted.

So, in your mind, is it better (however you define "better") to focus on a particular midda than a particular mitzva?

i don't know that i agree with the whole concept so much. i'm leaning more towards the approach the rabbi posted about upthread.

[Arizona]

Sort of a catch and release?

[Snag]

Arizona, on 29 July 2010 - 03:54 PM, said:

Sort of a catch and release?

not release, but i'm not sure where the concept of choosing one special mitzvah and making it your own fits in.