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Using hostess gifts


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#1 Guest_Melech_*

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 05:56 PM

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#2 justbatya

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 05:58 PM

Yes. Unless there is a good reason or explanation given, like "oh I happen to have several open bottles of wine at the moment, do you mind if I save this for another special occasion?"

My poor SO still thinks that a Batya is a what, and not a who.


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#3 Guest_Shuli_*

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 05:59 PM

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#4 justbatya

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 06:02 PM

I would say that when I bring over an addition to the meal it is meant as such, and not for the hostess to add to the stash. If thats the case I'll just hand them a $20 for the wine fund.

My poor SO still thinks that a Batya is a what, and not a who.


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#5 Guest_Shuli_*

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 06:08 PM

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#6 justbatya

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 06:13 PM

I don't know, I have never been to such a stuffy meal as you are describing. Is your ethnically themed meal more important than putting out some cookies your guest bought? IME people do expect their bottle to be opened unless many people show up with the same thing.

My poor SO still thinks that a Batya is a what, and not a who.


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#7 Guest_Shuli_*

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 06:17 PM

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#8 justbatya

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 06:19 PM

I dont doubt any of that, I just said it's stuffy, which it is IMO. Eyeroll.

My poor SO still thinks that a Batya is a what, and not a who.


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#9 Guest_Shuli_*

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 06:20 PM

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#10 Kalashnikover_Rebbe

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 06:33 PM

Unless it is totally unnecessary (like they have a ton of wine open already) or inappropriate for the meal, then yes, it should be served...
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#11 ookamikun

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Posted 01 January 2011 - 08:53 PM

Even if there is a ton of wine open already, I'll not only put it out but will make kiddush on it.
Bigger problem is when I have several guests bring bottles of wine for same meal.

While I do find it someone annoying when guests bring large cakes without first asking me if I need cake and I already bought cake, I'll put it out anyway out of respect from the guest.
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#12 U Tarzan me Jane

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Posted 02 January 2011 - 07:10 PM

When someone brings a bottle of wine or a sectional tray of candy do you feel you have to serve it at that meal with the guests who brought it?

I always serve it so as not to insult my guests. If they ask what they can bring, I say there is no need to bring anything at all, just themselves.
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#13 Guest_miri_*

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Posted 03 January 2011 - 09:26 AM

I always serve it so as not to insult my guests. If they ask what they can bring, I say there is no need to bring anything at all, just themselves.

I do the opposite. People want to help, want to contribute. Telling them not to bring anything may make them uncomfortable, or they may just bring something anyway.

#14 justbatya

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Posted 03 January 2011 - 10:34 AM

Right Miri, and you have to know your guests- i know with most of my regulars that they will show up with wine,fruit or a packaged baked good, no matter what I say, because it's just what we do, so it behooves me to "assign" wine/fruit dessert to those who ask what they can bring, so I don't end up with 3 bags of grapes.  

My poor SO still thinks that a Batya is a what, and not a who.


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#15 ookamikun

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Posted 03 January 2011 - 10:36 AM

Right Miri, and you have to know your guests- i know with most of my regulars that they will show up with wine,fruit or a packaged baked good, no matter what I say, because it's just what we do, so it behooves me to "assign" wine/fruit dessert to those who ask what they can bring, so I don't end up with 3 bags of grapes.  

:stupid:
Or beer. Always room for more beer.
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#16 Jeanette

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Posted 03 January 2011 - 11:35 AM

Silly me, for putting hours of time, thought, and effort (not to mention tons of money) into a meal, and then requesting that people refrain from bringing something when I've already accounted for everything. :rolleyes:

To me this says it's more about the host than about the guest. Maybe YOU care about every dish fitting into the theme, but if the guests don't care, put out their brownies.

#17 FYI

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Posted 03 January 2011 - 12:05 PM

I say it should be served.

(I don't always do as I say)
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#18 Guest_Shuli_*

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Posted 03 January 2011 - 04:34 PM

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