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Vacationing alone

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#41 Belle

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 05:58 PM

A typical frummy man??? :pardon:


shame on those guys.
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#42 LoveToLaugh

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 08:15 PM

CS, what did you do in the end?
God, grant us the...
Serenity to accept things we cannot change,
Courage to change the things we can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference
Patience for the things that take time
Appreciation for all that we have, and
Tolerance for those with different struggles
Freedom to live beyond the limitations of our past ways, the
Ability to feel your love for us and our love for each other and the
Strength to get up and try again even when we feel it is hopeless.

#43 comfortingsong

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 10:00 PM

shame on those guys.

The point that I was trying to make (in the story that I mentioned regarding such couples) is that many of the wives married to such men don't feel like it's a shame on the guys. I also find it shocking, but they don't seem to mind and considering it's their marriage/kids, I don't really personally care.

CS, what did you do in the end?

Nothing as of yet. :( I had some medical issues to deal with, so I couldn't leave town right away. I'm still hoping to go somewhere from tomorrow afternoon through Tues afternoon, but I haven't come up with a good idea yet.

Still accepting suggestions...

#44 Belle

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 10:05 PM

The point that I was trying to make (in the story that I mentioned regarding such couples) is that many of the wives married to such men don't feel like it's a shame on the guys.


their loss.
"Belle has the right of it" - Shemmy

"i have come to believe that belle is closer to the truth" - Snag

"Belle is, of course, right." - Razie

#45 comfortingsong

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 10:15 PM

their loss.

You and I see this as a loss. They don't.

#46 starwolf

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Posted 16 October 2011 - 11:30 PM

If it were me, I would divide the time. Spend one day doing relaxing things in the city--like a nice day at a museum or two. And then a short drive to a nice place like Caumsett State Park or Cold Spring Harbor, and a wlak around some of the well-maintained paths there (weather permitting)

http://www.nysparks....23/details.aspx
http://www.nysparks....15/details.aspx

The state parks immediately north of NY are also options.
The parks website is great for picking scenery that you prefer....

Have a great time!

הַתְקַשֵּׁר מַעֲדַנּוֹת כִּימָה אוֹ-מֹשְׁכוֹת כְּסִיל תְּפַתֵּחַ


doubt not through the ages one increasing purpose runs, and the thoughts of men are widened with the process of the suns.

#47 greentiger

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Posted 17 October 2011 - 01:46 AM

Not so much with the Uman crowd! From the ones I know the husband decides and the women have to agree whether it's shana rishona, due date or kid sick in the hospital. Well, they don't force it per se, but they guilt the wives enough so they feel like it's no biggie to go into labor or handle kid in the hospital alone. After all, it makes husbands year and who are they to ruin that?

Thats unfortunate.

You and I see this as a loss. They don't.

Maybe they do. Just because they don't say anything doesn't mean it doesn't bother them.

A typical frummy man??? :pardon:

You mean like the typical frummy kollel father who is in charge of school pickups and drop offs, kids doctors appointments and lunch break because his wife is the one working?
Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right

If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

#48 Kalashnikover_Rebbe

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Posted 17 October 2011 - 02:02 AM

You mean like the typical frummy kollel father who is in charge of school pickups and drop offs, kids doctors appointments and lunch break because his wife is the one working?

Such people don't generally go to Uman... :pardon:
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#49 greentiger

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Posted 17 October 2011 - 03:27 AM

Such people don't generally go to Uman... :pardon:

Wait that was a different discussion. This was about husbands who can manage kids while their wife is away.
Treat each day as your last; one day you will be right

If a man stands in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

#50 comfortingsong

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Posted 17 October 2011 - 08:45 AM

Maybe they do. Just because they don't say anything doesn't mean it doesn't bother them.

I was specifically talking about the people in my story.

If it were me, I would divide the time. Spend one day doing relaxing things in the city--like a nice day at a museum or two. And then a short drive to a nice place like Caumsett State Park or Cold Spring Harbor, and a wlak around some of the well-maintained paths there (weather permitting)

http://www.nysparks....23/details.aspx
http://www.nysparks....15/details.aspx

I was so excited about these options, but then I saw this message: "Due to Hurricane Irene, all state parks and historic sites in the Long Island, Palisades, and Taconic Regions are temporarily closed until further notice." :(

#51 smishu

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Posted 17 October 2011 - 09:02 AM

I'm sure they CAN, the question is whether or not they are WILLING, and what state the kids (and the HOUSE) will be in when you finish gallivanting around...


See above...


That's sad...

#52 starwolf

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Posted 17 October 2011 - 10:56 AM


I was so excited about these options, but then I saw this message: "Due to Hurricane Irene, all state parks and historic sites in the Long Island, Palisades, and Taconic Regions are temporarily closed until further notice." :(

Just to be sure, I'd call. Somebody might have forgotten to update the website.....

הַתְקַשֵּׁר מַעֲדַנּוֹת כִּימָה אוֹ-מֹשְׁכוֹת כְּסִיל תְּפַתֵּחַ


doubt not through the ages one increasing purpose runs, and the thoughts of men are widened with the process of the suns.

#53 Village

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Posted 18 October 2011 - 03:30 PM

i totally hijacked this thread.Starwolf...one day you will understand.I give u a beracha.
The greatest sophistication is trying to figure out how not to be sophisticated - Rebbe Nachman
www.soundcloud.com/kabbalisticvillage - Please take a listen.

#54 moe says

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Posted 19 October 2011 - 09:31 AM

this isn't an uman debate but that statements a bit presumptious. Do you think the majority of the 50,000 men who showed up in uman this year decided to shell out a small fortune to forgo their own beds, familiar food and quality time with their family in exchange for being crammed on mattresses in unpleasant facilities, communal dining halls, because they consider it a "vacation"? I'm sure at least 25,000 of those coming would realize you could get a far better vacation for the say 1.5 thou they are spending on their trip. Sorry for hijacking but i really can't stand hearing these accusations.

don't forget the outhouses.

People shell out a small fortune to go to camp or to go camping all the time.

not these people.

One's family might object to a camping trip for the guy on Rosh hashana, but feel compelled to let the guy go for a "spiritual experience". And while I do not doubt that for some it is a spiritual experience, for others it is an excuse to carouse, without which they would be stuck at home with the ol' ball-and-chain.

maybe God wants them to carouse. maybe that's what has kept breslov alive for hundreds of years without a rebbe.

I don't think it's a marriage issue as much as a society issue.

riiiiight. and maternal instincts obviously have nothing to do with it.
/atheists are ##### insane.

I feel that relaxing as one sees fit is important for overall health. I do not see the spiritual value of gathering by the grave of a tzaddik, especially one in such a place as Uman. Perhaps my wife could convince me of this if she herself believed it, but as she does not, I don't have much of a problem. However, on a theoretical basis, I would be willing to listen to her reasons for wanting to go to such a place. I would not find it acceptable for her to do so on a Yom Tov, which I feel should be spent with family. How lucky for me that I married a woman with that same hashkafa.

so, basically, your wife's spirituality requires a permission slip from you...

talk about להט החרב המתהפכת
יושב בשמים ישחק השׁם ילעג למו

#55 Xi

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Posted 19 October 2011 - 04:38 PM

riiiiight. and maternal instincts obviously have nothing to do with it.

Huh? Non-mothers take care of children all the time, and most mothers aren't afraid to leave their children for a few hours with someone they trust.
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#56 Red Hare

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Posted 02 November 2011 - 02:56 PM

I don't see any reason to go anyplace. Do errands, sleep late, cook and make sure yhour closets are clena and organized. Exercise, attend shiurim. Visit friends. You'll have plenty to do.
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#57 starwolf

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Posted 02 November 2011 - 11:27 PM

so, basically, your wife's spirituality requires a permission slip from you...

talk about להט החרב המתהפכת


How would you feel if your wife wanted to spend Rosh Hashana at the kabbalah Center (without the family) because she feels that it is important for her spirituality?

How would you feel if your wife met a particularly charismatic rabbi and wanted to spend shabbat with his community (without the family)?
What if that Rabbi was someone like R' Avi Weiss?
What if was a conservative Rabbi-- (male or female) that your wife felt awoke something spiritual in her? Would you be okay for her to leave your family for a Yom Tov to join a group like this for the sake of her spirituality? Would you accept that with equanimity? Or do you think that it might affect your marriage?

How would you feel about that?

הַתְקַשֵּׁר מַעֲדַנּוֹת כִּימָה אוֹ-מֹשְׁכוֹת כְּסִיל תְּפַתֵּחַ


doubt not through the ages one increasing purpose runs, and the thoughts of men are widened with the process of the suns.

#58 comfortingsong

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Posted 02 November 2011 - 11:39 PM

I don't see any reason to go anyplace. Do errands, sleep late, cook and make sure yhour closets are clena and organized. Exercise, attend shiurim. Visit friends. You'll have plenty to do.


:shok:

#59 Village

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 06:58 AM

How would you feel if your wife wanted to spend Rosh Hashana at the kabbalah Center (without the family) because she feels that it is important for her spirituality?

How would you feel if your wife met a particularly charismatic rabbi and wanted to spend shabbat with his community (without the family)?
What if that Rabbi was someone like R' Avi Weiss?
What if was a conservative Rabbi-- (male or female) that your wife felt awoke something spiritual in her? Would you be okay for her to leave your family for a Yom Tov to join a group like this for the sake of her spirituality? Would you accept that with equanimity? Or do you think that it might affect your marriage?

How would you feel about that?

None of the examples you give come remotely close to the greatness of Rebbe Nachman.
You know very well that the Kabbalah Center is sheker.
You know conservative is sheker.
So whats ur point?
No one else has 40,000 people travelling to a third world country...i would say 97 percent of the wives let and want their husbands to go.
If you told your wife you had to go somewhere for 5 days and that you are coming back with 10 million dollars ..she would be packing your bags.Whats worth more to you?your relationship to hashem or your money?
The greatest sophistication is trying to figure out how not to be sophisticated - Rebbe Nachman
www.soundcloud.com/kabbalisticvillage - Please take a listen.

#60 starwolf

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Posted 03 November 2011 - 09:36 AM

No one else has 40,000 people travelling to a third world country...i would say 97 percent of the wives let and want their husbands to go.
If you told your wife you had to go somewhere for 5 days and that you are coming back with 10 million dollars ..she would be packing your bags.Whats worth more to you?your relationship to hashem or your money?


You misunderstand me. If a given family has no problem with the husband going to Uman, then it certainly is not my problem. it's not for me, but I have no desire to control what others do.

I certainly don't care about the number of people participating. more people than that watch the world cup games, and I have no interest in that either.

What i would object to is my spouse participating in these things. My wife and I share common haskafot, and this is definitely not one tow which we subscribe.

Which brings me to the last point in your post. My spiritual relationship with HKB"H is not dependent on visits to a tzaddik's grave.

הַתְקַשֵּׁר מַעֲדַנּוֹת כִּימָה אוֹ-מֹשְׁכוֹת כְּסִיל תְּפַתֵּחַ


doubt not through the ages one increasing purpose runs, and the thoughts of men are widened with the process of the suns.




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