46 replies to this topic

[Snag]

from my email:

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so “profound” that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.This gives two possibilities:1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.So which is it?If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, “it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,” and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting “Oh my God."

[Survivor18]

Rofl!! the logic was facinating and hysterical, thanks 4 posting this!

[DQ]

Gevaldig!

[Nooch]

Great stuff!

Not to rain on this parade, but this assumption...

from my email:

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.

...is wrong thereby invalidating the entire piece.

[Bezalel]

It's offensive and has no place on a Jewish message board.

[brianna]

Great stuff!

Not to rain on this parade, but this assumption...

...is wrong thereby invalidating the entire piece.

I thought of that, however both the professor and the student were referring to the Christian hell which is different than the Jewish hell.

[Nooch]

I thought of that, however both the professor and the student were referring to the Christian hell which is different than the Jewish hell.

The student supposedly factors in all religions. He is just making assumptions about hell based on his christian perceptions.

[brianna]

The student supposedly factors in all religions. He is just making assumptions about hell based on his christian perceptions.

Due to the idiotic "Judeo-Christian" myth people tend not to even consider that.

[warren]

Snopes gives it a "false", and traces it back to 1920.

[lyric]

All souls leave hell eventually, even the worst offenders during life. And I agree with Bez, it's offensive and has no place on a Jewish message board.

[Nooch]

It's offensive and has no place on a Jewish message board.

All souls leave hell eventually, even the worst offenders during life. And I agree with Bez, it's offensive and has no place on a Jewish message board.

Offensive!?! What do you find offensive??!?

All souls leave hell eventually, even the worst offenders during life. And I agree with Bez, it's offensive and has no place on a Jewish message board.

Simply untrue.

[Short]

I can see why evangelical Christians would find it offensive. As a Jew, I find it funny

[lyric]

Simply untrue.

Prove it.

[Nooch]

Prove it.

One proof off the top of my head.
[Chagiga 15b]
כי נח נפשיה דאחר אמרי לא מידן לידייניה ולא לעלמא דאתי ליתי לא מידן לידייניה משום דעסק באורייתא ולא לעלמא דאתי ליתי משום דחטא אמר ר"מ מוטב דלידייניה וליתי לעלמא דאתי מתי אמות ואעלה עשן מקברו כי נח נפשיה דרבי מאיר סליק קוטרא מקבריה דאחר אמר רבי יוחנן גבורתא למיקלא רביה חד הוה ביננא ולא מצינן לאצוליה אי נקטיה ביד מאן מרמי ליה מאן אמר מתי אמות ואכבה עשן מקברו כי נח נפשיה דרבי יוחנן פסק קוטרא מקבריה דאחר פתח עליה ההוא ספדנא אפילו שומר הפתח לא עמד לפניך רבינו
bHag 15b

When Akher died, they said, "He should not be judged and he should not be brought into the world [to come]. He should not be judged because he busied himself with Torah, but he should not be brought into the world [to come] because he sinned".
Rabbi Meir said, "It is better that he be punished and not brought into the world [to come]. When I die, I shall cause smoke to rise from his grave". When Rabbi Meir died, a column of smoke ascended from the grave of Akher.
Rabbi Yohanan said, "Is it a great deed to burn one's master? One who was amongst us, and we are not able to save him? If I take him by the hand, who will tear him away from me? Who?" He said, "When I die, I will extinguish the smoke from his grave". When Rabbi Yohanan died, the column of smoke departed from the grave of Akher. The eulogiser [of Rabbi Yohanan] commenced [his discourse] concerning him, "Even the guardian of the gate would not have stood before you, Our Rabbi".


From this gemara we see clearly two things.

• Had Rav Meir (a Tana) not intervened, he never would have gotten into gehinom in the first place. A spiritual limbo which is far worse than gehinom.
• Rav Yochanon, (an Amora) who lived at least 200 years later, after had to intervene get him out of gehinom. Had he not, Acher would still be there....

[lyric]

It's still not proof that sinners will be there forever without reprieve. It shows that bad sinners can be there for many generations, but not forever. I cannot believe that any human being's neshomo would not eventually get a tikkun.

[Nooch]

It's still not proof that sinners will be there forever without reprieve. It shows that bad sinners can be there for many generations, but not forever. I cannot believe that any human being's neshomo would not eventually get a tikkun.

Here is another gemara...

[Talmud Gittin 56b-57a]

[Onkelos Bar Kalonikus] called up Balaam from the dead. [Onkelos] asked: Who is honored in that world? [Balaam] replied: Israel. [Onkelos asked:] What about joining them? [Balaam] replied: (Deut. 23:7) "You shall not seek their peace or welfare all your days." [Onkelos] asked: What is your punishment? [Balaam answered]: In boiling semen.

[Onkelos] called up Yeshu from the dead. [Onkelos] asked: Who is honored in that world? [Yeshu] replied: Israel. [Onkelos asked:] What about joining them? [Yeshu] replied: Seek their good. Do not seek their bad. Whoever touches them is as if he touched the pupil of his eye. [Onkelos] asked: What is your punishment? [Yeshu answered]: In boiling excrement. As the mast said: Whoever mocks the words of the sages in punished in boiling excrement.

From the gemara its clear that both are still there.

I cannot believe that any human being's neshomo would not eventually get a tikkun.

Even if you are correct.
Saying otherwise (in a humorous anecdote) you find offensive?!?

[lyric]

Here is another gemara...

[Talmud Gittin 56b-57a]

[Onkelos Bar Kalonikus] called up Balaam from the dead. [Onkelos] asked: Who is honored in that world? [Balaam] replied: Israel. [Onkelos asked:] What about joining them? [Balaam] replied: (Deut. 23:7) "You shall not seek their peace or welfare all your days." [Onkelos] asked: What is your punishment? [Balaam answered]: In boiling semen.

[Onkelos] called up Yeshu from the dead. [Onkelos] asked: Who is honored in that world? [Yeshu] replied: Israel. [Onkelos asked:] What about joining them? [Yeshu] replied: Seek their good. Do not seek their bad. Whoever touches them is as if he touched the pupil of his eye. [Onkelos] asked: What is your punishment? [Yeshu answered]: In boiling excrement. As the mast said: Whoever mocks the words of the sages in punished in boiling excrement.

From the gemara its clear that both are still there.



Even if you are correct.
Saying otherwise (in a humorous anecdote) you find offensive?!?

You might feel differently about it when you reach my age and really have to think about the reality of olam habah and gehennom and where you might end up. It concentrates the mind wonderfully, and as such I think this anecdote trivializes it.

[Nooch]

You might feel differently about it when you reach my age and really have to think about the reality of olam habah and gehennom and where you might end up. It concentrates the mind wonderfully, and as such I think this anecdote trivializes it.

Fair enough.

[Devils Advocate]

I think it has become safe to assume that not only do many members of this board not have any sense of humor, but they find the fact that others have a sense of humor to be offensive. How sad for all of them. No sense of humor sounds like the worst kind of hell on earth to me...

[int]

Here is another gemara...

[Talmud Gittin 56b-57a]

[Onkelos Bar Kalonikus] called up Balaam from the dead. [Onkelos] asked: Who is honored in that world? [Balaam] replied: Israel. [Onkelos asked:] What about joining them? [Balaam] replied: (Deut. 23:7) "You shall not seek their peace or welfare all your days." [Onkelos] asked: What is your punishment? [Balaam answered]: In boiling semen.

[Onkelos] called up Yeshu from the dead. [Onkelos] asked: Who is honored in that world? [Yeshu] replied: Israel. [Onkelos asked:] What about joining them? [Yeshu] replied: Seek their good. Do not seek their bad. Whoever touches them is as if he touched the pupil of his eye. [Onkelos] asked: What is your punishment? [Yeshu answered]: In boiling excrement. As the mast said: Whoever mocks the words of the sages in punished in boiling excrement.

From the gemara its clear that both are still there.

Not really, it's only clear that at the time Onkelos asked them, they were still there. They might not be there now.