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Fwd: Fw: Top 20 tweets frm the "asifa"

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#1 Pinchas


    Make Aliyah!

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Posted 24 May 2012 - 02:54 AM

Subject: Top 20 tweets frm the "asifa"

I am missing my brother at the asifa. He was last seen wearing a white
shirt, black jacket and hat and had glasses.

Rabbonim are headed to the clubhouse for cold beers and some bubbly to
celebrate their victory tonight!

A sign displayed in Citi Field memorabilia shop: "all jerseys have been
checked for shatnez."

So let me get this straight. They Re-banned the Internet? They didn't need
to spend $2 million on that. Right?

Did anyone streak across the field during the game? And by streak, I mean,
without a hat?

50K ultra orthodox Jews in a NY stadium protesting the internet and a solar
eclipse...aren't those two of the four signs of the apocalypse?

Best part of the asifa was that I got new followers on Twitter!

There's a double header tonite. Next up is the Amish versus the

No mention of children abuse scandals. Repeated mention of how the internet
corrupts children.

Dear yeshiva students who attended the asifa: you've just ruined your
shidduch and no one from Saw You At Sinai will ever set you up.

Coming this week to a girl's shidduch resume near you - did your father
attend Asifa? If answer is NO then NO SHIDDUCH...."

Schools from here on will only accept those without Internet and rich

Most of the people who went don't know their asifa from their elbow.

Davening from your smartphone right after the asifa is like saying "Slach
Lanu" right after Yom Kippur. It feels wrong.

Overheard at Citi Field: "the worst thing about the internet is that it can
lead G-d forbid to a job."

The fathers are all at Citi Field asifa, the mothers are all going to live
Hookups, and he kids will stay Home Alone on the Computer.

There's a smoking section at Citi Field; Provided that all cigarettes have
a filter.

Is it true they're raffling off an iPad at the asifa?

What did one rabbi tweet to the other rabbi at the asifa? "Wi-Fi sucks in

If I'm approached for tzedakah by someone who is Hasidish, I can now state
that I am an internet user and that my money is no good.

Final score: Internet 1, Asifa 0
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone

Sent from my mobile device

Pinchas is right - micha


For the record, IRL he is a really nice guy! - HappyDuck, Z"L

#2 Red Hare

Red Hare

    When this old you are, look as good you will not !

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Posted 25 May 2012 - 11:50 AM

pretty funny !
"There's a stroller called Phil and Ted's? Is that the kind for most excellent adventuresome babies?" Sweet

"I discovered that all the participating members here are 'black sheep' in their own circles. On Hashkafah.com, the mainstream is truly wacked." Silent J

"H.com becomes a proverbial Hotel California for many of us" Nooch

#3 yaldahma



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Posted 06 June 2012 - 11:36 PM

Extreme funny humor.

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