16 replies to this topic

[Zicher]

Anyone have some good ideas for ways to spend quality time with your spouse at home, like during the evening?

[happyduck1979]

board games?

[adiel]

1) plan and do activities around the house/creative artistic projects together
2) cook
3) watch TV shows/movies together
4) go walking
5) visit friends or have them come over and entertain (host a poker game - we do that)
6) learn!
7) tons of online games/board games
8) catch up on necessary errands together
9) dance!
10) go to a kosher comedy club (http://www.manhattancomedy.com/)
11) exercise
12) shmooze
13) fight on hashkafah.com together

[jamal]

dude thats preetty far out u share ur spouse! lol

[TimeRebbe]

make a romantic dinner with candles and everything (the food doesnt need to be romantic, just the atmosphere). sit on the couch together and just visit, enjoying each others company.
most importantly, especially if she's feeling a little down, working ragged or otherwise stressed, take care of her!

[Pinchas]

Also, everyone should know what their spouse enjoys.

[justajew]

Pinchas, I've been married for 9 years, and I am still learning what she likes, so good luck with that. If you are looking for some quality time, just put the kids to bed and do anything but discuss to what needs to be done tomorrow. Nothing kills quality time like realizing that there is more work to be done

[Pinchas]

Pinchas, I've been married for 9 years, and I am still learning what she likes, so good luck with that. If you are looking for some quality time, just put the kids to bed and do anything but discuss to what needs to be done tomorrow. Nothing kills quality time like realizing that there is more work to be done

Really... 9 years! Maybe you should spend more time talking to her (which incidently is one of the things she told me she likes...)

[TimeRebbe]

Really... 9 years! Maybe you should spend more time talking to her (which incidently is one of the things she told me she likes...)

that does come across as a bit rude, ya know
my wife likes it when i pay attention to her and validate her, and of course being there for her when she needs it.

[Pinchas]

You're right... not meant too... but I knew what everything my wife liked and disliked after the third date already... what takes 9 years?

Anyway you don't need to know EVERYTHING she likes to make her happy just know things that she likes and do them.

[SUMMERSUP]

You're right... not meant too... but I knew what everything my wife liked and disliked after the third date already... what takes 9 years?

Anyway you don't need to know EVERYTHING she likes to make her happy just know things that she likes and do them.

Ah, dude.. you are so in the wrong.. women change!
I for one do not like all the same things as i did when we were dating. looks like someone stopped picking up the hints after they got married!

[TimeRebbe]

Summer, everyone changes (especially women!). But there are some things that don't change, that's built into our basic psyche. As it happens, Pinchas is also recently wed, so he could still be in the honeymoon phase
With me, there were plenty of things I didn't know about my wife well into our engagement. Didn't matter

[Pinchas]

TimeRebbe, it's the opposite - we were like a couple (happily) married for ten years after the 3rd date and it feels like we knew each other our whole lives... and Summer, of course people change but if you are paying attention it shouldn't take too long to notice... and furthermore so what? Again, the point was you should know generally many things she likes and usually speaking someone's entire life interests don't change over night... (also both of her and my new interests are picked up together as should be true of any healthy marriage.)

Also, TimeRebbe, you're already out of the honeymoon phase?

[hello kitty]

Thanks adiel, you gave some great ideas.

[TimeRebbe]

Also, TimeRebbe, you're already out of the honeymoon phase?

I dont know

[justajew]

Really... 9 years! Maybe you should spend more time talking to her (which incidently is one of the things she told me she likes...)

Wow, I've been gone a while. You are right, I should spend more time talking with her, but with each of us in school and working 2 jobs, plus having 4 kids, we're lucky we have time to see each other at all. But that is real life, when you are first married, no kids, less bills and other responsibilities, you can spend all the time in the world together, and have to ability to completely focus on each other, it may seem obvious that you can know each other perfectly, because you have the time to spend on each others needs at the drop of a hat. However when life gets more expensive and complicated, finding the time to talk, even if it's just a few minutes of focused attention becomes the most difficult, special and important thing you can do.

[Pinchas]

That's more than a little condescending. Married people say that about singles... that they have so much free time. The fact is whether you are single, married, with kids or not life is complicated and there is always a lot going on. So what if I don't have kids (yet)? We're still working jobs, and making time for daf yomi, other shirium, and for shopping for groceries, and cooking and cleaning and family engagements, ect, ect, ect. If you don't want to find time for your spouse then you won't no matter how busy or free you are... but if you realize what it the most important thing if life you'll find a way... and Hashem will help you find the time to talk to your spouse for a few minutes each day... sheesh!

p.s. I don't know you but I can say I have no shortage of bills to pay.