28 replies to this topic

[SUMMERSUP]

The problem with most of these magazines is that they glorify a specific ideal that everyone should conform to. In the real World, experimentation is ok and so is trying various things to show appreciation and respect for your significant other. When people denote that a particular like or dislike is solely attributed to one gender: I tend to disagree. Most of the how-to/help sections in such magazines do nothing more than provide people with common sense, rather than insight.

Example: The candle idea. One can dislike it, but realize that their significant other really enjoys watching wrestling instead. You can still take the base concept and work with it (eg. having a foot rest with a taping of the best/most recent WWF show ready, having a bunch of game-food nearby and sitting down with the SO to watch the game with him). The idea still shows appreciation for the other individual and their interests.

Assuming that 'guys hate candles' and 'women overestimate the appeal of candles to men' glorifies a concept that men somehow dislike things that women like: Both statements are not necessarily true, just a reflection of different opinions.

To Smart of a reply for me to understand.

[hello kitty]

How about making the nice supper you spoke about and take it from there.

[Sweet]

The problem with most of these magazines is that they glorify a specific ideal that everyone should conform to. In the real World, experimentation is ok and so is trying various things to show appreciation and respect for your significant other. When people denote that a particular like or dislike is solely attributed to one gender: I tend to disagree. Most of the how-to/help sections in such magazines do nothing more than provide people with common sense, rather than insight.

Example: The candle idea. One can dislike it, but realize that their significant other really enjoys watching wrestling instead. You can still take the base concept and work with it (eg. having a foot rest with a taping of the best/most recent WWF show ready, having a bunch of game-food nearby and sitting down with the SO to watch the game with him). The idea still shows appreciation for the other individual and their interests.

Assuming that 'guys hate candles' and 'women overestimate the appeal of candles to men' glorifies a concept that men somehow dislike things that women like: Both statements are not necessarily true, just a reflection of different opinions.

When my wife comes home after a long trip, I like to welcome her with long periods of watching football in silence.

Come to think of it, OP, I think I have the answer!

[mroof]

When my wife comes home after a long trip, I like to welcome her with long periods of watching football in silence.
Come to think of it, OP, I think I have the answer!

With that kind of outlook: I would enjoy the long periods of silence myself.

[Sweet]

With that kind of outlook: I would enjoy the long periods of silence myself.

I think that this is a gender divide thing, which is kind of my point. It doesn't make sense to you that a man would come home to someone he loves, and not immediately want to "be with" that person again, in some indulgent or interactive way. To some people, (I want to say most women, but you'll get offended) if a husband comes home and only wants to sit down and watch TV, that means that there's something wrong with the relationship. But it's not true at all. A man can love his wife dearly, and still come home after a tiring trip and just not think about anything for a while - drop like a stone on the couch, and flip the remote for four hours.

It might not be the nicest thing to do to his wife, and a good husband will perhaps put his interests second and enjoy doing something together, but if you dismiss out of hand anything that doesn't involve re-bonding, you're not doing it for him, you're doing it for you.

[mroof]

I think that this is a gender divide thing, which is kind of my point. It doesn't make sense to you that a man would come home to someone he loves, and not immediately want to "be with" that person again, in some indulgent or interactive way. To some people, (I want to say most women, but you'll get offended) if a husband comes home and only wants to sit down and watch TV, that means that there's something wrong with the relationship. But it's not true at all. A man can love his wife dearly, and still come home after a tiring trip and just not think about anything for a while - drop like a stone on the couch, and flip the remote for four hours.

It might not be the nicest thing to do to his wife, and a good husband will perhaps put his interests second and enjoy doing something together, but if you dismiss out of hand anything that doesn't involve re-bonding, you're not doing it for him, you're doing it for you.

I was joking btw.

[justajew]

I'm sure there are plenty of men who like candles. I'm just saying that as a general rule, women overestimate the appeal of candles among men. I suggested reading magazines, because the same trap is likely to appear in asking many of these questions - people of a particular gender assume that people of another gender appreciate similar things. My advice helps to overcome that by playing off of that same misconception.

Men loved candles for generations until Edison came along, now we love light bulbs, who knows what science will come up with next.

[warren]

LEDs

[TimeRebbe]

you can just wear something h0tt