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I hate my shietal..Has ANYONE done this?


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#1 SUMMERSUP

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Posted 17 July 2012 - 03:06 PM

I hate my shietal so much. I just dont like the way i look in it.
Before i was married i was considered. Really pretty. I never realised how much of that was because of my hair. I always had my hair neat and tidy and loooong and always style cutely.

I dont know what to do, i'm not used to wearing bangs constantly in the summer and i know i look better with the hair up like a poof so you can see my face. the only problem with that is that it looks so unnatural. Most of my freinds wear their hair out at the front but my husband doesnt like let.
also feel so wrong doing so. I really need a fix. What can i do???

I have had some ideas
like the black people weave their hair. Do you think i could weave the front of my hair and bring it forward like my natural hair? like a poof.

ANYONE IDEAS!!

It's seriously making me depressed, especially when i see people on facebook looking amazing in theirs.

#2 Red Hare

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Posted 17 July 2012 - 04:18 PM

For ladies with nice natural hair, a sheital can be a real ... test.

What does your sheital macher say ?
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#3 SUMMERSUP

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Posted 17 July 2012 - 06:39 PM

Yea, mysheital is a test,...its a nice one I just want it to look like im not wearin anything. I didnt sk her yet

#4 TimeRebbe

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Posted 18 July 2012 - 12:15 PM

you can get some insanely cheap sheitals that are very thin and look really natural (at least to a guy). Its probably synthetic, but try looking around, or getting your sheital styled, etc. theres nothing wrong with wanting variety, but its very hard to get it to match the look of your real hair - when my wife put on her shabbos sheital for the first time after the wedding, i almost didnt recognize her!
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#5 hello kitty

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Posted 26 July 2012 - 05:44 PM

Check out what your sheital macher has to say

#6 Pinchas

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Posted 27 July 2012 - 08:55 AM

My wife says she feels the same way so you're not alone apparently...

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For the record, IRL he is a really nice guy! - HappyDuck, Z"L


#7 Rivka5768

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 12:42 AM

Hello. I am Christian born so I am very ignorant as of now about Jewish law. I didn't know that jewish women had to wear head coverings. I thought that was just a Muslim thing.

#8 Pinchas

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 01:45 AM

Only after they are married.

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#9 Rivka5768

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 04:33 AM

I never knew that. :)

#10 Shoshi

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 06:54 AM

Rivka, to clarify, some Orthodox Jews believe that it is mandatory for married women to cover either part or all of their hair after they get married, in particular when they are in public/outside of their homes.

#11 Pinchas

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 07:21 AM

Rivka, to clarify, some Orthodox Jews believe that it is mandatory for married women to cover either part or all of their hair after they get married, in particular when they are in public/outside of their homes.


If we're going there, Shoshi, why not add some Orthodox Jews believe even unmarried girls need to cover their hair even inside their homes...

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#12 Guest_halevy_*

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 07:37 AM

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#13 warren

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 07:44 AM

"To clarify the clarification" [sorry for that] I may add that not only some Orthodox Jews believe it, but it is a law consolidated in the Talmud, which is the transcription of the Oral Laws received at Sinai.

The Talmud is an edited transcript of conversations held by rabbis about the Oral Law. The traffic report is not the territory.
Poe's law: without a clear indication of the author's intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between sincere extremism and an exaggerated parody of extremism

If not now, when? Because I have lunch plans.

Purple is indeed very important

The Uncertainty Principle. It proves we can't ever really know... what's going on. So it shouldn't bother you. Not being able to figure anything out. Although you will be responsible for this on the mid-term. - "A Serious Man"

#14 Guest_halevy_*

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 08:15 AM

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#15 Shoshi

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Posted 12 September 2012 - 08:30 PM

"To clarify the clarification" [sorry for that] I may add that not only some Orthodox Jews believe it, but it is a law consolidated in the Talmud, which is the transcription of the Oral Laws received at Sinai.


Where in the Talmud is a law stated that married women must cover their hair?

#16 warren

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Posted 13 September 2012 - 01:19 AM

You're entitled to your opinion on the Talmud.

I prefer to acknowledge it as the most valid legal source for Halachah.

As are you, but where does your opinion come from? The Gemara is filled with Oral Law, but the Oral Law itself, it is not. Unlike the Written Torah which a person can hold a copy of or put on a bookshelf, the Oral Torah is larger than any work of writing. It's larger than an entire library, or even a hypothetical library that includes every book ever written about Torah.

The gemara is a source for Halacha? Like, if you have a question, you'll open a gemara? Or you'll bring it to your rabbi who'll open one? Not a Shulchan Aruch?
Poe's law: without a clear indication of the author's intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between sincere extremism and an exaggerated parody of extremism

If not now, when? Because I have lunch plans.

Purple is indeed very important

The Uncertainty Principle. It proves we can't ever really know... what's going on. So it shouldn't bother you. Not being able to figure anything out. Although you will be responsible for this on the mid-term. - "A Serious Man"

#17 Shoshi

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Posted 13 September 2012 - 06:51 AM

As are you, but where does your opinion come from? The Gemara is filled with Oral Law, but the Oral Law itself, it is not. Unlike the Written Torah which a person can hold a copy of or put on a bookshelf, the Oral Torah is larger than any work of writing. It's larger than an entire library, or even a hypothetical library that includes every book ever written about Torah.

The gemara is a source for Halacha? Like, if you have a question, you'll open a gemara? Or you'll bring it to your rabbi who'll open one? Not a Shulchan Aruch?


Agreed. Where in the Shulchan Aruch does it state that a married woman must cover her hair?

#18 warren

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Posted 13 September 2012 - 08:40 AM

Agreed. Where in the Shulchan Aruch does it state that a married woman must cover her hair?

Wikipedia gives these references, and the next link is to an article on the subject that I haven't read myself.

Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha'ezer 115, 4; Orach Chayim 75,2; Even Ha'ezer 21, 2
Schiller, Mayer. "The Obligation of Married Women to Cover Their Hair". JHCS 30, 1995, 81–108.

The first EH doesn't quite say she must, but that her husband can divorce her if she doesn't, and that in such a case she doesn't collect her divorce settlement as specified in the ketubah.
The OC also doesn't forbid a woman to be bareheaded but prohibits a man from reading the Shema in the presence of a woman's hair which is normally covered.
The second EH interestingly forbids all women, single or married, from going to the marketplace bareheaded.
Poe's law: without a clear indication of the author's intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between sincere extremism and an exaggerated parody of extremism

If not now, when? Because I have lunch plans.

Purple is indeed very important

The Uncertainty Principle. It proves we can't ever really know... what's going on. So it shouldn't bother you. Not being able to figure anything out. Although you will be responsible for this on the mid-term. - "A Serious Man"

#19 Shoshi

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Posted 13 September 2012 - 10:09 AM

Wikipedia gives these references, and the next link is to an article on the subject that I haven't read myself.

Shulchan Aruch, Even Ha'ezer 115, 4; Orach Chayim 75,2; Even Ha'ezer 21, 2
Schiller, Mayer. "The Obligation of Married Women to Cover Their Hair". JHCS 30, 1995, 81–108.

The first EH doesn't quite say she must, but that her husband can divorce her if she doesn't, and that in such a case she doesn't collect her divorce settlement as specified in the ketubah.
The OC also doesn't forbid a woman to be bareheaded but prohibits a man from reading the Shema in the presence of a woman's hair which is normally covered.
The second EH interestingly forbids all women, single or married, from going to the marketplace bareheaded.


Thanks. So it seems that the practice of married women having to cover their hair is quite shaky, halachically.

#20 warren

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Posted 13 September 2012 - 10:23 AM

Thanks. So it seems that the practice of married women having to cover their hair is quite shaky, halachically.

Well Indigo's halachic system (if I remember it correctly) includes tradition as well as books. But on the other hand it's hard to separate tradition that we do on purpose and tradition that we do because that was how everyone used to do something, and that could apply to hair covering. And one could say the tradition was opened up to multiple possibilities when hair covering became less prevalent. Or one could say that now that it's back, the period of leniency will be ignored. It also includes rabbis most of which say it's required, but there are those who are more nuanced (some of whom are married to women who don't cover their hair. On the other hand all the Maharot and female Roshei Kehilah that I've run into do, but I don't know if that's because they feel it's required or that they don't want to give the other side more ammo. I don't really have a rabbi, I have a friend who has semicha and who I ask kashrut questions, his wife doesn't cover her hair even in shul.). And common sense, what common sense has to say here I'm not sure.
Poe's law: without a clear indication of the author's intent, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between sincere extremism and an exaggerated parody of extremism

If not now, when? Because I have lunch plans.

Purple is indeed very important

The Uncertainty Principle. It proves we can't ever really know... what's going on. So it shouldn't bother you. Not being able to figure anything out. Although you will be responsible for this on the mid-term. - "A Serious Man"




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