Skewed View on Charity?
adiel 14 Aug 2012
Recently, someone from Israel came to my neighborhood collecting to support his needs as he has a family with 6+ kids. In the course of conversation, it came to light that he doesn't work nor plans to. He enjoys learning full time and has no interest in obtaining a position with the years of learning he has accumulated.
What's bugging me is this: Why should I help him if he isn't willing to do anything for himself? Sure, it's great that he is doing his hishtadlus by going around collecting. But does that really count? It's like no matter how bad the family situation is, he won't do what it takes to change the status quo so that his family won't have to rely on his collecting abilities. So why should I (or anyone) give him $100 or $1000 if he is going to just need it again in 2 weeks?
In certain medical cases, or where one is marrying off there kid - I get it and give what I can. But I'm seeing the above situation more often and it's upsetting that people willingly put themselves in a place where they rely on charity and won't do what it takes to get out.
So is giving to them feeding their bad behavior or should one give to anyone who is willing to ask?
i'm not sure if I've written on this before and its a repost or not. Sorry if it is.
Bezalel 14 Aug 2012
Is he learning when he's begging money from you and your neighbors? Is he learning when he's traveling to beg money from you and your neighbors? Is he learning when he's halfway around the world from his chavrusa while begging money from you and your neighbors?
And why should you "get it" when someone is marrying off a kid? A wedding can be very simple and inexpensive. The parents of the people being married are under no obligation to buy them an apartment; rather, the "kids" can get jobs and rent a place.
Snag 14 Aug 2012
OTOH, there is a view that we should show mercy to people in dire straits, without judging the reasons whih brought them there. An added enjoining to attaining this detachment is the hope that when G-d judges us, He too will show mercy for our troubles, while ignoring the fact that our own misdeeds have laid us low.
spectra 14 Aug 2012
I know every situation is different. But if he is able bodied, I see nothing wrong with the deal.